What Dreams May Come
by hichigomate
Summary: Goku's hiding something, something that happened to him. He's fighting to rejoin the world, but can he overcome his newfound fears? Can his secret love, Hakkai, help him, or will he disappear forever? Wait, what? A new enemy has appeared? Can Goku survive
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki; again, they wouldn't sell those characters to me. :sob: Anyway, ignore the tears of despair. This is just something that I really wanted to do, because I was watching the series and reading the manga, and I just really wanted to write a story! Damn it, I promised myself no more yaoi stories until after my other stories were done! Well, we can all see how that worked out. xp Whatever, read on, please. This is a GokuxHakkai story, just so you know. Oh, and I'm making Homura and his little enturage still alive, because I love them, and they deserve to live. So, when they show up, please don't be surprised.**

**Summary: It was all going well, the journey to the west. At least, it appeared that way on the outside. But something's wrong. Something happened to Goku, something that's destroying him. What could it be? Can Hakkai help Goku, or will the youkai just fall farther into despair?**

**Warning: This is yaoi. If you don't know what that means, it means that it's going to be a boyxboy story. There's going to be lemons in the later chapters, probably. Maybe. Um, swearing, mentions of rape, mpreg, violence, and humor. That's it! If it bothers you, then you'd better not read this.**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 1**

Hakuryu was driving slowly in the midday sun, already knowing the direction in which the group was heading. They were traveling through a large forest, off to the village on the other side of it. Everyone was sleeping; well, everyone but Cho Hakkai. He never slept when driving. Right now he was sitting there with a small smile on his face, humming softly. Next to him sat Genjo Sanzo, leaning his blond head back as he slept. Directly behind him was Sha Gojyo, leaning his head on his hand on the side of Jeep, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. And next to him was Son Goku, sleeping with his head in his hands, resting against Hakkai's head rest. For once, it was quiet, and Hakkai had time to think.

It had been a few months since that final fight with Homura, who'd finally given up on his new world. Apparently, he was off learning the ways of the humans, having finally been convinced that what he was doing was wrong. Hakkai was quite glad about that, for he didn't much like fighting the heretic god. It was like fighting Kougaiji; there really wasn't any point in it.

_Ah, life is good._ Hakkai thought, his smile widening. He patted the steering wheal, before giving a soft sigh. "I think we'll stop for lunch here, Jeep." He whispered, feeling Hakuryu roll slowly to a stop.

"What's wrong, Hakkai?"

A harsh voice asked from his left, and he turned to look at Sanzo. That short blond hair glinted in the sun, and those drooping, voilet eyes, placed at equal spaces below that crimson chakra, pierced through him. The priest had pulled off the vest and scripture while they rode, for it was extremely hot in the sun. He wore just his tight black undershirt (think wifebeater) and arm guards (whatever they're called) with the blond skirt thing over his jeans. He'd kicked off his sandals earlier. He was, as most had donned him, the "sexiest priest alive."

Hakkai shook his head, still smiling. "There's nothing wrong. I just thought it'd be a good idea to stop and rest for lunch; we don't want Hakuryu getting wore out in this heat."

Sanzo turned his head away, but Hakkai knew he agreed with the Chi user. Resuming humming his earlier song, Hakkai got out of the Jeep, giving Goku a small shake as he went.

"Huh? Is it time to eat, already?" Goku asked, yawning loudly as he rubbed his golden-brown eyes. The gold diadem on his forehead winked brightly, contrasting with his brown hair.

Hakkai smiled at the child-like youkai, nodding. "Yes, we're stopping for lunch. Would you like to help me set up the food?" He asked, pulling out a small cooler from under the back seats.

Goku nodded instantly, bounding from the Jeep in a flash of movement. The sudden motion startled Gojyo, who emitted a small cry as his hand dropped his head and he fell face first into the head rest.

"Damn it, saru! Can't you do anything quietly?!" He growled, rubbing his forehead.

"Sorry, kappa, I forgot you were sleeping. Well, it's time to get up anyway!" Goku replied laughingly, before rushing over to where Hakkai was setting up what looked like a picnic. "Oh, awsome! Did you make all this, Hakkai?!"

Hakkai looked up, sweat dropping at the estatic look on his little friend's face. He was so predictable. Give him food, and he'd be happy; well, for at least an hour.

"No, Goku, I bought some at the store. But some of this is leftovers from last night. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not! It's food, isn't it? And what you made last night was amazing, so this'll be just as good!" Goku grinned, plopping himself down on the large blue blanket that covered the sandy area where they were eating.

It was unknown to the rest of the group, but Goku might have been a little biased on his opinion of Hakkai's food. After all, ever since he'd met Hakkai all those years ago, he'd developed strong feelings for the human turned youkai. Sure, he cared about his "sun," Sanzo, but those were more childlike feelings, the ones you'd have for your hero, your parent. What he felt for Hakkai was deeper than that, more primal. But, of course, he never did anything about those feelings. He didn't want to lose Hakkai. That was why, he always acted like the child he was expected to act like around his secret love, craving those smiles and soft touches he was rewarded with. They were his life.

"Thank you, Goku. That was a very nice thing for you to say." Hakkai smiled for real this time, not his usual I'm-there-but-I'm-not-really-paying-attention-because-I'm-thinking-other-things smile.

Goku laughed self-consciously, rubbing his nose at the praise. He felt warm inside, fuzzy. He almost blushed, too, but stopped himself in time. Instead, he said, "No problem! I can be nice when I want to! Unlike _some_ people...Gojyo!"

Gojyo looked up from rummaging through the cooler for a beer, flicking open his lighter. "What was that, saru? Something you don't understand?"

Goku growled. "Don't call me a 'saru,' you stupid hentai kappa!"

"Yeah, well I'd rather be a kappa than a saru!" Gojyo replied, lighting his cigarette.

They would have continued arguing had the click of a gun not stopped them. Instantly cowed, they turned to look at Sanzo, who had the classic twitch above his eye and stood with his eyes closed, gun cocked next to his head.

"The next one to say one word gets pumped full of lead."

The cold words spoken were just what was needed. Gojyo and Goku instantly sat down, innocent looks on their faces. Hakkai just laughed as he placed all the food on the blanket, and handed everyone a plate. They all eagerly dove into their food, not even waiting to see if the others were eating yet. Hakkai sighed, but he was used to it.

What he wasn't used to was Goku not stealing Gojyo's food. Just a little something to be concerned about, but since Goku wasn't paying attention to him and practically wolfing down his food, he simply decided to ignore the feeling and, after handing Sanzo his plate, began his own lunch.

Goku was, surprisingly, the first one finished; he laid his plate down and jumped up. "I'm going to go wash off at that stream just a few meters that way! I'll be back soon, so don't leave without me!" He cried, already rushing off.

"Goku! Keep your guard up!" Hakkai called.

A second later, Sanzo added, "You've got ten minutes! If you're not back by then, we're leaving!"

Sighing, yet laughing, Goku waved at them, before disappearing into the thick trees around them. He could smell the water from the stream, and found it instantly. He sighed again, but this time in pleasure, as he began to vigorously wash his face.

Little water droplets slipped down his round face as he paused, staring at his reflection in the water. Unlike others, though, the sight didn't make him happy; instead, he felt almost dejected. His thoughts were pessimistic, at best.

_Look at that. A heretic, a creature that everyone hates. I can't belong to anyone, and yet I persist in trying to make the others around me accept me. Why do I do that? What good is it? Is it all...for him?_

Goku stopped those thoughts by slapping both his cheeks, shaking his head furiously. "Bad thoughts! I can't think those things! They'll only mess with my head!" After that extremely tiny pep talk, Goku jumped up, realizing his time limit was almost up.

He let out what soundly suspiciously like a shriek when he was roughly pushed back down on the ground. A shadowed face was above him, and cold hands were holding him down. Something gagged him, and he couldn't call for Nyoi-bo.

"Oh, lookie here. Looks like I've found a new pet! Hehe."

Goku's eyes widened at the voice, and the insinuation. _Oh shit! What's happening?!_ He thought, before his thoughts suddenly began to grow hazy.

His eyes closed, and he drifted, unsure of anything that was happening. But then, he felt a great pain, a ripping sensation that forced his eyes open, but he couldn't see anything. He only heard an insane laughing, and felt only the pain.

It was too much. He passed out, escaping that pain that consumed his very body. And he drifted once more in that darkness.

**And there I'm stopping, cause it's getting a bit long. Okay, you know what? I'm sick of this shit happening; just even insinuating writing this makes me gag! Sorry, anger problems. Um, so yeah, probably not a good start, huh? Sorry about that; it'll get better. Sure. Um, please review for me? Review and flames, if you must. I accept both, because flames are really just constructive critism. Ja!**

**Ayame**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki; again, they wouldn't sell those characters to me. :sob: Anyway, ignore the tears of despair. This is just something that I really wanted to do, because I was watching the series and reading the manga, and I just really wanted to write a story! Damn it, I promised myself no more yaoi stories until after my other stories were done! Well, we can all see how that worked out. xp Whatever, read on, please. This is a GokuxHakkai story, just so you know. There's also going to be a little HomuraxGoku, but it's not the main pairing. One-sided, and all that. Oh, and I'm making Homura and his little enturage still alive, because I love them, and they deserve to live. So, when they show up, please don't be surprised.**

**Warning: This is yaoi. If you don't know what that means, it means that it's going to be a boyxboy story. There's going to be lemons in the later chapters, probably. Maybe. Um, swearing, mentions of rape, mpreg, violence, and humor. That's it! If it bothers you, then you'd better not read this.**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 2**

Hakkai glanced up from packing away the extra food, what little was left that is, noticing the fierce scowl on Sanzo's face. Ten minutes had gone and went, along with another five, and still no sign, or sound, from Goku. He was getting worried.

"Gojyo, perhaps you should..." He began to suggest, but was cut off.

"No." Deadpan.

"You could at least let me finish my sentence."

Goyjo paused in lighting another cigarette. "Fine. What is it?"

Hakkai politely asked Hakuryu to transform, and placed the cooler in the back again. "I was going to suggest you go look for Goku; I'm starting to get worried."

"No." He repeated, once again deadpan.

Hakkai sighed and was about to force the issue when the previously silent Sanzo spoke.

"Hakkai. Look."

The Chi master turned in the direction the monk indicated, and gasped. There was Goku, a bandaged and passed out Goku, half carried by the youkai prince Kougaiji, who had an annoyed scowl on his face.

"Kougaiji! What are you doing here? And what's wrong with Goku?!" Hakkai asked worridly, hurrying foreword to take the Seiten Tasei.

"Ask him when he wakes up; it isn't my place to tell you. And I was just wandering through the forest when I came upon your little pet." Kougaiji turned away, prepared to disappear, when he suddenly turned back. "By the way, Yaone said to tell you to make sure Goku drinks a lot of liquid when he wakes up, but don't give him solid food until two days have passed. Don't ask me why." He said before the healer could speak, and vanished.

Hakkai sighed and handed the limp Goku to Gojyo, who appeared beside him, preparing to check the boy over for injuries. Sanzo stopped him though.

"Let's go. The quicker we get to the village, the quicker you can worry over the bakasaru. If something really happened, he'll sleep it off."

Hakkai didn't want to, but he nodded, helping the kappa place Goku in the back of Jeep. The boy whimpered slightly at the movement, but otherwise didn't wake. The healer gave him a serious frown but, seeing the others watching him, shrugged and got in. As Sanzo suggested, he'd worry about it later.

* * *

_Inside Goku's Mind:_

He was walking aimlessly, unsure of any direction he was going. Not that it really mattered; he wanted to get lost. He had nothing left inside him to make him care about the world around him.

At first, he hadn't understood where he was, how he got there, or why he wasn't leaving. But, after sitting and thinking for a while, he'd figured it out. His body was broken, something that had never happened before. But that wasn't the worst of it. His mind seemed to be in shambles, something else that he didn't think had ever happened. That's when he realized that he was _inside_ his mind, escaping the world that had allowed such a horrendous act to be committed, and against him.

So, in a way, he was happy to be here, completely oblivious to the outside world. Of course, he didn't much like the company he was currently keeping.

The Seiten Taisei was walking next to him, clawed hands swinging by his sides as his golden eyes watched Goku's every move. He didn't wear the golden diadem Goku wore, but he did wear the same clothes. His brown hair hung down his back, long and wavin in a non-existant wind. He was Goku's other half, his demonic and blood-thirsty side. Surprisingly, though, here in his mind the Seiten Tasei was just like him; somewhat thoughtful, calm, and not wanting to tear him to shreds. It was odd, yes, but not unwelcome.

Neither of them spoke; they were content to walk along the forest path, wandering nowhere. Or, it seemed they were traveling nowhere. He was surprised when they arrived at a familiar place; a spot of rocks where the auras of the Earth gathered...His birthplace, Mt. Gogyou.

"What...? Why did you bring me here?" Goku broke the silence, backing away from the bars in the rocks covered in sutras.

The Seiten Taisei looked at him before sliding in between the bars, settling himself in a comfortable position on the ground. He patted the ground next to him, a sure signal he wanted Goku to sit next to him. Although he was wary of the place where he'd been imprisoned, Goku gulped down his fear and went to sit next to his other half. He was surprised a second time when his youkai began to speak, his voice low and gutteral, something he'd never heard before in his life.

"Shut up and listen to me. You've been slacking off in our body, and that's what allowed that to happen to you. And stop referring to me as "the Seiten Taisei." It's annoying. You can just call me, well, I'll let you think up a name. And don't choose Saru, because that's degrading." Well, apparently the Seiten Taisei was a little smarter than our Goku; he had a nice vocabulary.

"Oh. Um, well, how about "Go?" That way I won't confuse the two of us."

"Only you would get confused. Now be quiet. I've got something important to tell you."

Goku nodded, turning serious for once in his life as he awaited the newly named Go's explanation.

"Good. I'm only saying this once. You've been refraining from using your full senses and power, haven't you? And it's because you're afraid of me getting loose. You know, you could have just talked to me about that."

"Huh?" Goku asked, flinching when Go glared at him for the interruption. "Sorry."

"As I was saying, you could have just asked me about that. All you had to do was go see the Mercifull Goddess, Konzeon Bosatsu, and get a new limiter. She has the power to create one that can allow you access to all of my power and senses, but keep my insanity locked away. When you return, that will be the first thing you do." Go paused, allowing Goku time to absorb this information.

"...But, what about if I don't want to return?" Goku mumbled almost inaudibly, but Go still heard him. Snarling, the youkai lunched foreword, catching Goku unawares as he pinned him to the ground.

"What? Are you planning on turning coward and running away? You plan to just run away without enacting your revenge? I never would have thought you were so weak."

Goku turned his head away, his face burning. It was true; he was weak. He couldn't even stop those low-level youkai who'd attacked him. But would be the point of continuing living?

Go sighed; great, he really didn't want to have to do this. He wasn't good at pep talks, but he did want to keep living. Well, he might as well give it a try.

"Listen. It doesn't matter what happened; the past is the past, and doesn't need to be constantly remembered. Besides, would he want you dead? Not dead in body, but dead in spirit? Could you hurt him that way?"

Goku stilled, looking up at the face that mirrored his own, but with elongated pupils and fangs. Go was right, he realized with a start. No matter what had happened, he couldn't just leave the others. They might not care about him, but he sure cared about them, and he refused to leave them without what little protection he could offer.

It was kind of funny. With just a few sentences, Go managed to put it all back into perspective for him. _I guess...he really isn't as bad as I thought he'd be._ Goku thought, surpsied again. He nodded, and Go moved back, allowing him to sit up. Then he started speaking again.

"The second thing I wanted to tell you is even something you aren't going to want to hear, but you'll accept it. You don't know this, so I'm telling you; you are a hermaphrodite. You know what that means, right? You can be both male and female. You're always male, but you have...certain female parts."

Now, Goku may be slow, but he does get things. It only took him a few seconds to read between the lines, and his tan face drained of all color. Go nodded, not at all happy about this either.

"It's still too early to tell; we'll know in a few weeks. But beside that. I want to begin teaching you some things to better protect you in the future. We'll begin soon; that is, if you want to learn."

Goku took a while to think up his answer. On one hand, learning some new techniques would be very good, and he'd get stronger. But, then the others would begin wondering where he was learning all this. Wait, why should he care? He wanted to be able to protect himself.

"Yes, I want to learn what you can teach me."

Go smirked, leaning foreword. "Good. Let's begin."

* * *

"Sanzo, has he woken up yet?" Hakkai asked, opening the door where Goku and Sanzo were in the inn.

Sanzo turned from where he was staring out the window, a burning cigarette in between his fingers. "Does it look like he's woken up yet?" He asked pointedly, raising a blond eyebrow.

Hakkai looked over at the small youkai, his ever-present smile dimming a little. "You're right. I'm getting very worried; even if Goku was drugged, he shouldn't be asleep this long."

Sanzo shugged; he didn't really care. Just then, Gojyo walked in, carrying a brown bag from the store.

"The saru awake yet?" He asked, setting the bag on the table.

Hakkai shook his head, no longer smiling. He dug through the bag until he found a small cloth, which he dipped in some cold water before setting it on Goku's neck. The child was burning up; maybe this would help.

"Well, we might as well get some sleep while we're waiting for him to wake up." Gojyo suggested, settling himself down on the only other bed in the room.

"I suppose you're right. You go ahead and sleep, Gojyo. You too, Sanzo. I'll stay awake and watch Goku." Hakkai smiled again, but the others could tell it was fake.

Sanzo was about to say something when all heard the sound of something breaking. Three pairs of different colored eyes turned to stare at Goku; his limiter had just broken in half!

"Oh, shit." They all spoke in unison; Sanzo stepped foreword calmly.

But then something else happened. Goku seemed to become surrounded by a type of forcefield, one that wouldn't allow anyone near, not even Sanzo.

"What the hell?" He growled, dropping his cigarette.

"Oh, enough of the vulgarities. You're around a child." A mocking voice sounded; all turned to look at the window.

Standing there was a beautiful woman wearing skimpy clothing with long bluish hair. She was grinning.

"The Merciful Goddess!" Hakkai gasped; he remembered her from their last journey. She was quite an...eccentric goddess.

"It's been over four years, and you guys are still hopeless. Whatever will I do with you?" She laughed, stepping over to the glowing area around Goku. "Oh, dear. It seems as though...hm? What's that?" She raised a glowing hand to the forcefield, dissipitating it in a second. Then she leaned close to the still Goku, her ear over his mouth. "What did you say?"

"Um, what's she doing?" Gojyo asked, a confused look on his face.

Before Hakkai could answer, Konzeon straightened, a smile on her face.

"Wow; I never would have expected that. You've really grown up, Son Goku. I'm quite impressed." Holding her hands together, they glowed, forming a very thin silver tiara. (a/n: If you've ever seen The Lord of the Rings: the Return Of the King, it looks like Arwin's tiara, only a male like version.)

Still grinning happily, she placed the tiara on Goku's forehead, sliding it through his hair, which had returned to its original, youkai length. It didn't shorten; instead, it stayed the same length, as did his elongated fangs and claws. Then she turned to stare at the rest of the foursome, her gaze hard.

Hakkai was, of course, the first to speak. "What did you do?"

Her glare-like gaze didn't lesson when she answered. "I did what he asked of me. Ask him when he awakens what it is I did, if you want, but don't be surprised if he won't answer. And, in case you're worried, he'll be awake by morning."

"What was wrong with him?" Surprisingly, it was Sanzo who posed this question.

"Again, don't ask me that. Just know that what it was has scarred him for the rest of his eternal life. He isn't going to be the same cheerful saru you all know. But, don't worry about that. Just let him heal emotionally, and he'll return to you. Push him too much, and you'll lose him." And with that, she left them, just disappearing completely from view.

They stood there long after she left, each with their own thoughts. It was already turning dark before any of them finally moved. It was, again, Hakkai the first to speak.

"Why don't you both go get some rest? I'll sleep in here, for when Goku wakes up. He might need me for something."

Sanzo nodded. "No matter what, we're leaving after breakfeast tomorrow. Be ready then, and make sure he's ready then too."

Hakkai nodded. Gojyo didn't say anything; he just looked from Goku to Hakkai, before leaving the room with Sanzo.

The Chi master sighed; he guessed it was time to get some sleep too. Morning would come too soon for all of them.

**Well, these chapters are longer than the chapters of my other stories. Whatever. What do you think of my little Go, who's not as insane as people depict him? I personally think he'll be fun to write. Well, I hope so. Anyway! Hopefully this'll lighten up. I think it will; no, I'm sure it will! And I can't wait for Homura to show up, which he will soon. Be ready for that! Remember! Reviews please, and lovely little flames are welcome to help me write better.**

**Ayame**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki; again, they wouldn't sell those characters to me. :sob: Anyway, ignore the tears of despair. This is just something that I really wanted to do, because I was watching the series and reading the manga, and I just really wanted to write a story! Damn it, I promised myself no more yaoi stories until after my other stories were done! Well, we can all see how that worked out. xp Whatever, read on, please. This is a GokuxHakkai story, just so you know. There's also going to be a little HomuraxGoku, but it's not the main pairing. One-sided, and all that. Oh, and I'm making Homura and his little enturage still alive, because I love them, and they deserve to live. So, when they show up, please don't be surprised.**

**Warning: This is yaoi. If you don't know what that means, it means that it's going to be a boyxboy story. There's going to be lemons in the later chapters, probably. Maybe. Um, swearing, mentions of rape, mpreg, violence, and humor. That's it! If it bothers you, then you'd better not read this.**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 3**

Golden eyes set around elongated pupils slowly opened, dilating in the warm sunlight. The lithe figure they belonged to groaned, twisting his head around as he sat up, dislodging the cloth that clung to his face over his mouth. Almost growling in annoyance, he reached up a hand to fling away the cloth.

"Goku! You're finally awake!"

Goku turned to watch Hakkai's surprised but smiling face get closer and closer to him, until it loomed right above him. He flinched, inching away; he wasn't ready to be this close to anyone yet.

Hakkai frowned; since when does Goku flinch from him, or anyone? _What happened to him? I'm...almost afraid to ask him. And, Konzeon said not to ask him. So, what should I do? Well, I suppose I could get him some water; I remember Kougaiji said to give him that._

"Would you like some cold water, Goku?" He asked quietly, his smile sad.

Goku nodded without saying anything, breathing a sigh of relief as Hakkai backed off. _I hate this. I'm so afraid of having anyone near me, of having anyone touch me. I can't stand it!_ He felt his eyes burning; what was wrong with them?

**Relax.** The gutteral voice of Go commanded, sounding loudly in his mind. **You will make yourself sick if you keep worrying over these things. You'll be fine; just keep to yourself for a while, and refamiliarize yourself with the group. Your fear will mostly likely leave you eventually.**

_I...guess. Thanks._ Goku whispered back, his head down. He supposed there really wasn't anything else he could do.

"Here you go, Goku." Hakkai handed him a cup of water, but made sure not to get to close.

Goku thanked him and drank the whole cup, although without his usual gusto. It wasn't enough to moisten his dry throat; Hakkai saw this and took back the cup, refilling and returning it.

Goku sighed when he was finished; that was better. He felt a little dizzy from sitting up, but that was alright. It would pass, in a moment. Lifting his head, he looked at Hakkai, but wasn't quite able to meet his eyes. Hakkai noticed this, but didn't say anything on it; he waited for Goku to speak.

"How long have I been asleep?" Goku asked quietly, hands settled loosely around the cup.

The older monocled man answered just as quietly, "A little over two days now. Would you like me to get you another set of clothes to change into?"

Goku nodded, setting the cup on the nightstand next to the bed as he watched Hakkai pull out a white shirt, tan breeches, and a brown and orange vest. He accepted them from the human-turned-youkai, but couldn't muster up a smile when he next spoke.

"Um, Hakkai? Could you...please leave, while I change?" Saying this hurt him, but he couldn't bear to be around another while he changed.

Hakkai was shocked; he was thankful Goku wasn't looking at him at the moment, for his face was unguarded. But he spoke the affirmative, and left the room, his thoughts in a jumble.

Gojyo was just coming out of the other room; he instantly asked about Goku.

"He's just awoken; he's changing now. Gojyo, something is very wrong with him. I know the Merciful Goddess said not to be surprised by a change of attitude in him, but it's just too different. I don't like this."

Gojyo looked at the closed door, but didn't move towards it. "Let's just let it go, Hakkai. If something's wrong with him, he needs to get over it on his own."

Hakkai was about to say something else on that effect, but Sanzo walked into the hall, giving them a glare.

"Come down for breakfeast. We'll spend an hour eating, and then we'll leave. Is Goku up?"

Before Hakkai could answer, the door opened, and Goku stepped into the hall. He hung onto the doorframe for a moment, before stepping foreword. He came to stand by them, but still kept a good few feet away.

"Come on, saru, time for breakfeast." Gojyo laughed, already walking down the hall. He stopped, shocked, when Goku didn't even comment on being called "saru." Turning back, he noticed that Goku was walking foreword, walking about two feet from Hakkai, but still next to him.

He was about to say something, but Sanzo gave him a glare.

"Shut up. You aren't fighting, and that's good enough. Go eat."

* * *

Goku positioned himself at the very side of his seat, practically hanging over the side of Jeep. He was surprised that no one had asked him anything, or mentioned that he was acting strangely, but he was happy about that too. He wasn't ready to explain anything yet.

The ride was actually quiet, for once, except for the occasionaly comment made by Gojyo. He was mainly talking to Hakkai, who was driving with a small smile. Sanzo was sitting next to Hakkai drinking a beer while he finished off his cigarette, alone with his thoughts.

Goku decided it would be better to not talk to anyone and instead think about what he'd begun learning last night. Go had started teaching him quicker ways of calling Nyoi-bo, and better ways of handling it. He was even taught a way of channeling his energy into the staff, allowing for it to become even stronger than it already was. It was ineresting and, although he hated to learn new things, it was pretty fun. Now, he concentrated just a tiny amount of his seemingly unlimitless Chi and gathered it in his palm, making sure to hide the glow from the rest of the group. It felt good, a relief of some kind to release even that small amount of Chi. (a/n: This is a bad way to describe it, but think: you've been waiting to go to the bathroom for over an hour and you finally get to go! That relief is similar to releasing Chi, like releasing tension.)

"Goku? What're you doing?" Gojyo asked, glancing over from his conversation with Hakkai.

"N-nothing." The youkai muttered, releasing the Chi instantly from its captivity. He resisted looking at the red-haired hanyou; he knew he'd have a guilty look on his face.

"Whatever. Just so long as he's not bothering me, he can do what he wants, Gojyo." Sanzo commanded, finishing off his beer. He stashed it below his seat, putting out his cigarette at the same time.

"Ah, you're so honest today, Sanzo." Hakkai laughed, holding out a paper cup for the cigarette butt.

Sanzo just looked at him, a vein twitching at his temple. But he didn't say anything. Instead, he just turned his head to watch the endless desert go by.

Goku felt himself relaxing indefinitely; it was all so normal. He may not want to get close, but he loved how they still teased each other, even though they seemed to sense something was wrong. It was just what he needed to help rid himself of the memories that plagued him. Maybe everything would be all right, after all.

* * *

"Hey, Hakkai, are we stopping to eat soon?" Surprisingly, it was Gojyo who posed the question; Goku wasn't hungry yet.

Hakkai turned his head a little to glance back at the natural redhead, before nodding and turning back to the road. "Yes; there's a village just a few more miles ahead. We'll be there in about an hour, and then I'll shop for dinner! You and Sanzo can get rooms for us. Goku? Would you like to join me in grocery shopping?"

Goku almost turned him down, but decided against it. He really did like Hakkai, and he didn't want to hurt the other's feelings by constantly being afraid to get close to him like he used to. And besides, maybe he could talk to Hakkai, possibly open up to him on what had happened to him. At least, that's what he hoped would happen soon. And besides, Go thought it'd be nice to hang around the human-youkai; it could possibly help his mental state. And that's why, instead of shaking his head in the negative, he nodded, not even having to force excitement in his voice when he answered, "Sure!"

Hakkai smiled, happy at this turn of events. Maybe it wouldn't be too long before Goku told them what happened to him. Maybe.

* * *

Goku walked just a few feet from Hakkai, carrying a green basket almost full with food and drinks. He was watching Hakkai walk, as odd as that sounds; the youkai seemed to be emitting a really strange smell that was almost intoxicating. Not that he would say anything about it. Instead, he just turned so he was almost completely facing Hakkai, inconspicuously taking a small whiff every now and then. It was really good smelling; better than any food he'd smelled before. But what was it?

"Goku? Is something wrong?" Hakkai asked, having noticed that Goku had been staring at him for a while now.

Goku almost jumped when Hakkai spoke; he'd been completely wrapped up in that new smell. Guiltily, he looked away, scratching the back of his head. "N-no, nothing's wrong. Hey, Hakkai! Let's get some apples, okay? The green ones are in season!"

"Of course, Goku. Why don't you go grab about ten and put them in the basket. I'm just going to go over there to get some tea for us later."

Goku nodded and took off with his basket, to where all the fruits and vegetables were stationed. It didn't take him long to count out ten green apples, (a/n: Yes, I'm making him being able to count in this story; it's really just Go's influence, though.) and he decided he wanted to get some oranges too. Although, he only got four of those, because he was planning to be the only one to eat those. Once he was done, he went to join Hakkai, who'd just picked out some green and oolong tea.

"Oh, you got some oranges too, Goku?" Hakkai asked, smiling.

"Yeah! But I only got four, because I figured I'd be the only one to eat them. Gojyo doesn't like most fruit, cause he's a stupid kappa, and Sanzo says they burn his mouth. But if you want some, you can have some." Goku grinned, holding up an orange.

"Thank you, Goku. That's very nice of you. Now, I was thinking of roasting sweet potatoes tonight for dinner, with a side of vegetables and smoked meat. What do you think of that?"

Goku wrinkled his nose at the mention of vegetables, he really didn't like them, but the rest sounded really good! "That's awesome, 'Kai! I can't wait! And I bet the others will be just as happy with it! Let's go, so you can get started right away!"

Hakkai laughed as Goku eagerly led the way to where the cashier was waiting. (a/n: Do they have cashiers in Shangri-La? Whatever; they do now! If you have a problem with that, get over it.)

* * *

"Goku! Slow down; I have plenty of time to fix dinner, so don't run so fast!" Hakkai called, afraid the monkey-like creature would fall and hurt himself if he kept running like that.

"Oh, sorry, Hakkai! It's just that I can't wait until you cook; it all sounded so good!" Goku replied, turning so he could walk back with Hakkai. It was all going perfectly; the walk, being with his old friend, and actually feeling hungry!

That was, until he started feeling sick to his stomach. At first he ignored it, thinking the feeling was nothing. But then it started to get worse. It was like an unusual cramping feeling in his stomach, causing bile to rise in his throat. Finally, it got so horrible that he actually dropped the bags he was carrying so he could stop at the side of the road and relieve his stomach of its contents. _What the heck? What's going on?!_

"Goku? Are you okay?" Hakkai asked, leaning down so he could help his friend.

Goku, however, pushed him away, lurching to the side as he continued retching. He didn't know what was wrong but from the way Go was suddenly really quiet in his mind, he guessed it couldn't be good. All he could hear was a strange buzzing noise in his mind and his ears; even Hakkai's voice was drowned out. At last, his stomach stopped retching; his body tried to put out a few last dry heaves, but collapsed on him.

The last thing he remembered was Hakkai's unguarded, worried face bearing down on him, and that manaical laughter that he remembered from his attack. It wasn't what he wanted to pass out to, but that didn't matter.

And for the second time in less than five days, Goku passed out, practically dead to the world.

**And there it is. If it seems a little rushed, I'm sorry. I wrote it in about 40 minutes, in Sociology, because essays are boring, so sorry about that. Um, just a little thing: something big is goin down! What is it?? Well, you'll be finding out in the next chapter, towards the end. And also, Goku will finally cut loose! Yes! And Hakkai's showing some other emotion than humour?!**

**Ayame**

**Sneak Peak:**

_"Yes; I didn't want to talk about it at first because I was afraid how you guys would react. I'm sorry I didn't really trust you."_

_"Who did this to you, though? Do you know?"_

_A deep breath. "I recognized his voice. Deep, playful...we fought him. I thought he was just like me, but...I guess I was wrong."_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Right; ****I**** own Naruto...Not! Stop mocking me! I hate you all! ...No, I really don't. And how do you know that? Because I'm being so nice and typing you all a new chapter. Okay, I'm not really doing it for you; I'm doing it because I had an idea for the story. But go ahead and believe you're all special enough to warrent said chapter. Nothing's stopping you!**

**Warning: This is yaoi. If you don't know what that means, it means that it's going to be a boyxboy story. There's going to be lemons in the later chapters, probably. Maybe. Um, swearing, mentions of rape, mpreg, violence, and humor. That's it! If it bothers you, then you'd better not read this.**

**What Dreams May Come:**

**Song listening to at the moment: The Last Night by Skillet!**

**Chapter 4**

"This really isn't good. What could be wrong with Goku? Did he get sick while he was in bed those two days? No, that's impossible. Goku doesn't get sick. Then, what could be wrong with him?" All of these words came from our very own Hakkai's mouth, his eyes clouded with concern. He was carrying Goku on his back into the inn, noting how light the youkai was, a contrast to how much he usually ate. Another contrast was seeing the usually unshockable Hakkai greatly concernced.

Even Gojyo, who'd rushed into the hall after hearing Hakkai's footsteps, back up a step at noticing his friend's expression. "What's wrong, Hakkai?" He asked, before coming foreword again.

"It's Goku. He suddenly started getting sick while we were walking, and then passed out again. I plan on checking on him after I lay him down to see if I missed something earlier."

Gojyo nodded and went back into their room to tell Sanzo of this new development. He was pulling back the covers on the bed for Hakkai to lay Goku down on when the Chi master walked into the room a few seconds later.

"Goyjo, would you please go get me a bowl of cold water? Sanzo, if you would open that window over there." Hakkai immediately took control, swiftly removing Goku's shirt. He gathered Chi into his hands, turning them green, before running them over Goku's torso.

"Hakkai." Sanzo's monotone voice stopped his ministrations, but only briefly.

"What?" He almost snapped, but caught himself in time. He turned with his ever-present smile, but somehow knew the others weren't that fooled.

"Is it just me, or is Goku a little...big?" The priest asked, watching as Hakkai worked.

"Not that you mention it, yeah." The hanyou murmured, also watching Hakkai work.

"What? What are you guys talking about?" The monocled youkai stood up, confused now.

"Look at his stomach."

"No, check his stomach. Something might be wrong with it."

Hakkai frowned, but nodded, and returned to the child. He ran his glowing hands over the tan stomach, concentrating so hard he didn't notice it at first. When he did, he gasped and stepped back, crashing into Gojyo, who'd gotten closer.

"What's wrong, Hakkai? Is it really bad?" The redhead asked, worried despite himself.

Sanzo just watched with an unreadable face.

"Well? How bad is it?!" Gojyo demanded, having not been answered yet.

"No, it's not bad, Gojyo. It's just...really unexpected." Hakkai stumbled when he let go of Goyjo, but caught himself in time.

"Are you expecting us to guess?" Sanzo this time.

"Oh...sorry. Well, it's just that when I was inspecting Goku's stomach, I found something. Well, two somethings The first was a heartbeat." He paused to let the others absorb this. Then he continued. "The second was a life, apart from Goku. It appears he's growing another life in his body."

They were all silent for a long time, each looking at Goku with different expressions. Sanzo was the first to speak after pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"You mean he's pregnant."

Hakkai nodded, closing his eyes.

"How is that even possible?" Gojyo burst out, glaring at both of them.

"Surely you knew, Gojyo. Goku's a hermaphrodite." Hakkai told him, bending down to inspect Goku's stomach once more, this time for the health of the unborn, tiny life form.

"Um, no, Hakkai, I didn't know that. How the heck is he pregnant, though?!"

"I was raped." The raspy voice of the only occupant in the room they thought was sleeping startled them all, and they came close to question him.

"What do you mean, Goku? Is that what happened when you passed out three days ago?" Hakkai asked, ceasing his ministrations to listen.

"...Yes. I didn't want to tell you guys because I was afraid of what you'd think of me. I was afraid you'd think I was weak." He struggled to sit up, and Hakkai took his arm to help him. But he waved the others to back up a little bit.

"Do you know who did it?" Sanzo asked this question; he didn't look it, but inside he was seething. How dare someone do this to his charge?!

Goku let out a deep breath. "I recognized his laugh. Deep, playful...we fought him before. I thought he was just like me, but I guess I was wrong."

Hakkai gasped again. "Homura?! You mean Homura did this to you?"

Goku shrugged. "It doesn't really matter anymore, I guess."

Gojyo fairly pounced on this. "What do ya mean it doesn't matter?! Of course it matters! We have to pay him back for this!"

"Leave it be, Gojyo. If he doesn't want us to fight Homura, we won't fight him." Sanzo commanded, taking another long drag of his cigarette.

Goyjo was clearly about to protest more, but after looking at Goku's downcast face, he decided against it. Instead, he grabbed a cup of water and handed it to the teenager.

"Here. You must be thirsty after sleeping again."

Goku nodded his thanks and drank the water, handing the cup to Hakkai when he was done.

"What are you going to do now, Goku?" The green man asked quietly, watching as Goku seemed to freeze up for a second.

"I think...I think I'm going to keep it. Even if it is a product of my rape, I don't want to kill it." Gou whispered, his hands clutching his stomach protectively.

"I can understand that. I'll help you, in whatever way you need." The other offered, smiling even through his sadness.

"I will too. After all, you're like my brother; I'm not going to let you go through this yourself." Gojyo grinned, ruffling Goku's messy hair.

Goku laughed a little, happy. But he sobered, turning to look at Sanzo. His opinion was just as important, if not more. He sat in tense silence for a minute, until Sanzo put him out of his misery.

"I'll stand by you. What "priest" would I be if I didn't help my charge in his time of need?" He was sarcastic, of course, but he was serious at the same time. He wouldn't leave his friend.

Goku's eyes burned, but he refused to cry. At least, yet. He really had friends; they really cared. This was his happiest moment, even among the circumstances. _They __do__ care. I was worried for nothing. I should have just trusted them._

**Well, there's nothing you can do about it now. Just trust them more in the future, and you'll be fine.**

Go was right, of course. Weird, how the insane part of his mind talked to him using more common sense than he had. But that didn't really matter. All that mattered was that he wasn't alone anymore. And he was starting to feel happy again.

It was time to come back.

**And there it's ending! Yes, it's shorter than normal, but yeah. It's meant to be that way. The next chapter is a time skip, to about three months in Goku's pregnancy. Why? Because I want this story to get a move on! If you don't like it, go ahead and complain. But I digress. Please review for your loving author, who cares enough to write for you! I'll give you cookies if you do!**

**Ayame**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: And here we are with the fifth chapter. Remember folks, it's a time skip spanning three months! Oh, and I'll just recap a few things for you guys. Homura fought Goku and lost, and has left the group alone. Except we learned in the last chapter he raped Goku and got him pregnant, because Goku's a hermaphrodite. The Seiten Taisei, or Go for short now, isn't as insane as we've been led to believe, and has helped Goku through his depression. Hakkai, who Goku secretly likes, has helped Goku get better, and has become his personal doctor. He and the rest of the foursome have decided to stick with Goku through this rough time, which is only going to get rougher when they find out the new development that's occuring very soon, and the horrible secret that's driving the Warprince to his despicable actions. And Goku has decided to keep the child for reasons unknown to us and the others. Okay, now that the recap's over, let's get on with the story! Enjoy!**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Music of Choice: Linkin Park: Crawling**

**Chapter 5**

Goku groaned, wishing he could roll over onto his stomach. He was tired as he lay on his back in the backseat of Jeep, but he couldn't sleep. His stomach was rolling at the constant motion of the vehicle, but he had nothing left in his stomach to throw up. Who knew being three months pregnant could be so horrible?! He groaned again, catching Hakkai's attention.

"If you need us to stop, Goku, we can." He said quietly, looking in the small mirror stationed in the windshield. (a/n: Does Jeep have a mirror? Well, it does now!)

Goku twisted a little, gulping down what tasted like bile. "No, I'm fine. I'm just tired, that's all." His tan hands drifted down to rest on his swollen stomach, a size that seemed much to big for just three months. But Hakkai hadn't said anything about it to him, so he didn't question it.

"We'll be in town in a couple hours; try to hang on till then, alright? Gojyo, please don't drink beer in Jeep; that's disrespectful to Hakuryuu."

Goyjo sighed; he was trying to find a good subsitute for cigarettes, since Hakkai had forbid them because they affected the health of unborn babies, but nothing could quite cut it. Even Sanzo was more irritable than normal because he couldn't smoke. Thankfully, though, it hadn't rained in weeks, so they didn't really need the cigarettes. He obligingly put the beer away, though, after meeting Hakkai's glare.

"Thank you."

Sanzo turned at Gojyo's sigh, also glaring at him. The hanyou quickly turned away, staring off into the distance. "Wow, it's really nice today, isn't it?" He asked, laughing nervously.

"Hey, Gojyo, pass me an orange, will you? I'm a little hungry." Goku asked, holding out a hand.

"Yeah, sure thing. Here you go."

Goku gratefully took the ripe orange, hoping it would quell the juice would quell his rolling stomach. He didn't bother peeling it; instead, he poked a hole on one side using a long nail, which had only grown longer during his pregnancy, and raised the orange to his lips. He sucked, drawing as much orange juice into his mouth as the hole would allow. It was an erotic display, one that forced the other three guys to look away. Surprisingly. He'd been right, though; the juice settled his stomach, and he breathed deeply in happiness.

"Damn, Goku, just suck that dry, why don't you?" Gojyo insulted, finally turning from watching the scenery fly by.

"Huh? I just did; what ya mean, Gojyo?" Goku asked; although he was much smarter with Go, he was still our stupid monkey kid. (a/n: He's just too cute that way!)

"Augh, nevermind. Hakkai, how much longer?"

"An hour and a half, Gojyo. Why don't you try napping, like Sanzo is, to pass the time?"

Gojyo nodded and leaned back, closing his eyes. Goku, giving him a grin, leaned foreword as much as his stomach would allow and rested his arms on the headrest of Hakkai's seat.

"Hey, 'Kai? Are you going to do my checkup when we check into the inn?" He asked; he'd grown used to the almost-intimate checkups his "doctor" gave him every few days. Normally it would be longer periods in between checkups, like weeks or a month in between, but with his body being a guy, Hakkai felt it better to be safe than sorry.

"Yes, Goku, I was planning on it. Why? Would you plan to wait another few days?" Hakkai glanced back at him, his one green eye unreadable.

"No, tonight's fine. It's just that you seemed a little worried last time, and I was wondering if you're expecting to find something. You know, something wrong with my cub." Goku's expressive face immediately became downcast, worried.

"Goku, if something was wrong with your baby, I would tell you. I promise you that. There's just something I need to confirm at your checkup tonight. If my suspicions are correct, I'll give you my thoughts. If they're not, then there's no need to say anything." Hakkai smiled, nodding when Goku looked relieved. "Now why don't you lay back and close your eyes. I'm sure you'll be able to rest if you just relax."

Goku nodded and did as he instructed; just as the other had said, he was asleep within moments. And he slept all through the rest of the ride, even through Hakkai and Sanzo's slightly animated conversation.

"Goku was right; something is bothering you, Hakkai. Spill."

Hakkai let out an uncharacteristic sigh, allowing Hakuryuu to drive for him while he turned to the unpriestlike priest. "You've noticed it too, I imagine, Sanzo. Goku's too big for being only three months pregnant. I'm worried about what's going on with his baby."

Sanzo shrugged. "It didn't matter as long as the bakasaru was fine, which he is. The extra weight doesn't seem to affect him, so I haven't worried about it. Is that what you're going to check out tonight?"

Hakkai nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Yes. I don't really think anything is wrong with Goku in general; I'm just worried about the baby. If it dies..." He paused, and Sanzo spoke for him, albeit forcefully.

"It won't come to that. He'll be fine. He has to be." And he left it at that.

* * *

Goku woke up to Gojyo shaking him lightly, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Are we there?" He asked quietly, yawning.

"Yeah; Hakkai just parked in front of the inn. He wants us to get the rooms while he and Sanzo go shopping for only gosh knows what. I think he's still trying to think up new subsitutes for nicotine. Personally, I don't think he'll be able to."

Goku nodded and sat up with a groan, putting a hand on his stomach. He felt as if he hadn't slept at all, but he still got up. He allowed Gojyo to help him out of Jeep, who immediately turned back into his dragon form. After three happy months of being cared for by three attentive friends, he'd grown back into his cheerful disposition. Although, he was still fearful of being around strangers. That couldn't be helped yet.

"Just go sit inside while I get the money from Sanzo. Damn, it's hot out here."

Goku left Gojyo there complaining, grinning as he almost waddled into the inn. He ignored the weird stares he got from other people; he was used to them by now, even though they pissed him off. They just weren't used to seeing a man pregnant, not that he really cared. Yawning again, he carefully lowered himself into a chair, watching as the redheaded half youkai came into the inn, chugging down a water. He quickly got two connecting rooms, paying the innkeeper before hauling Goku up and leading the way.

"You're rooming with Hakkai, kay? But since they're out shopping, lets sit in my room and play some cards." Gojyo offered, holding up a set of cards.

"All right! We haven't played cards in ages! Rummy good?" Goku took the set nearest the window at the small table, eagerly awaiting Gojyo to cut the deck and deal.

"Yeah. You go first."

They played rummy for the next twenty minutes; surprisingly, it was Goku who won the game.

"Shit, man, how'd you beat me? Aren't you supposed to be just a stupid monkey?" Gojyo complained, reaching for a cigarette. But, hearing the door behind them open, he immediately retracted his hand.

"I guess you're just getting dumber, Gojyo. 'Kai, did you bring some food with you?"

Hakkai nodded and smiled, placing a bag of healthy food on the table. "Yes. We stopped at a noodle stand and I bought you some vegetable stir-fry; here it is. And there's apple juice for you to drink."

"Man, Hakkai, I'm getting sick of all these fruits and vegetables. When can I eat some good, cooked meat?" Goku complained, but obediantly opened the stir-fry box and dug in.

"Because, Goku, fruits and vegetables are good for the baby. Meat is good in small quantities, but not fried. You do want a healthy cub, don't you?" Hakkai fixed Goku with a stern eye, noticing the latter blushed slightly before ducking his head and nodding.

"Yeah. So, when I finish this, are you doing the checkup?"

"Yes. I thought we'd do it in our room, for privacy. Sorry, guys."

Sanzo didn't comment; Gojyo just waved him off. "We don't want to see Goku's fat ass stomach anyway."

Goku scoffed and threw a pepper at him, which stuck to his cheek.

"Oh, that's gross! You stupid little saru! If you weren't as big as a blimp right now I'd beat the shit out of you!"

Goku snorted, then erupted into full-blown laughs, practically cackling at the absurtity of what had just happened.

"Okay, I think that's enough. Goku, please finish your dinner. I'll be waiting in the other room. Come in when you're done."

Goku nodded and hurridly finished his stir-fry, gulping down the food with gusto. When he was done, he didn't even bother cleaning up; taking the apple juice with him, he walked into the other room and closed the door.

"Ah, that was fast. Come lay down over here, please, and if you would take off your shirt for me." Hakkai commanded, already calling his Chi to his hands.

Goku did as he commanded with only a small hint of hesitation, and carefully laid down on the bed. He drank the apple juice while waiting for the checkup to end. Hakkai's hands were slightly warm from the Chi flow as they moved over his large stomach, and he resisted the urge to shiver. Instead, he turned to look at the wall, stiffling the warm feelings that always arose within him every time he was this close to his crush. Of course, the impersonal way the other touched him helped that.

"Hm." Hakkai murmured thoughtfully, laying his hands fully on Goku's distended stomach as he willed away the Chi.

"What is it, Hakkai? Is...is something wrong with my baby?" Goku asked hesitantly, unconsciously laying his hands over the Chi master's.

"Oh? Nothing really; my theory was just confirmed. And Goku? I think you mean 'babies.'"

Goku froze, staring at Hakkai with wide eyes. _What? What does he mean, 'babies?!' Does that mean...oh shit!_

**That's right, Goku. You're carrying twins. Funny little development, isn't it? I was going to tell you earlier, but I thought you'd have figured it out about now. Guess not.**

Goku was still sitting there frozen. He just couldn't believe this! Not one, but two kids?! This was freaking unbelievable! What was he going to do now?

"Goku, I'm going to lay some blankets right here. Finish up another apple juice and try to get some more rest, all right? I'll go tell the others about this, if you're okay with that."

Goku nodded. What else was there to do besides sleep? Maybe tomorrow would be better than today. He hoped. Then again, every time he thought that, it usually turned out the opposite way, so maybe it was time to just not think. Yeah, that sounded good.

**Rather abrupt ending, but I was starting to get a little blocked with where it was going. And in case you're wondering, I'm not putting Sanzo and Gojyo's reactions in the next chapter. You can probably guess them anyway; Sanzo just accepted it while internally freaking, and Gojyo just kinda drowned everything out in beer. Hakkai seemed to take it well, but he suspected it anyway. I'm thinking that Kou and his group might come back in the next chapter; that'll be interesting, yeah? So anyway, please review for me?**

**Ayame**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Just go ahead and refer to the last chapter, since I don't feel like repeating it once more. And on that note, it's time to find out what Hakkai's really thinking most of the time behind his smiling face! Oh, and some of you might be wondering why Goku's calling his baby "cub." I can't remember if I told you this or not, so I'll say it again. I couldn't find a technical term for "baby monkey" so cub seemed to be the closest thing I wanted to use. I didn't use baby because this way you're seeing his more animalistic instincts surfacing, as would any "mother's."**

**Warning: Refer to the last chapter for this as well.**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 6**

Hakkai knocked softly on his and Goku's bedroom; he wanted to know if Goku was awake, but if he wasn't, he didn't want to wake him.

He got no answer; Goku must have fallen asleep in those few minutes Hakkai wasn't in the room. _Well, I do want him to sleep, so I'll just lay these new modified shirts by his bed, and lay down myself. That way, if he wakes later on, I'll be there in case he needs something._

Hakkai smiled to himself, opening the door as quietly as possible. Thankfully, these doors didn't squeak; it was a pretty nice inn they were staying in this time. And there was Goku, asleep on his back, spread out in the middle of the bed by the door. His blanket was tangled in his feet, comletely off of him.

Hakkai sighed and laid the shirts on the nightstand, before going over to Goku and untangling his legs. Almost immediately, the youkai turned a little to the side and curled his legs up, but they didn't get that far because of his belly.

_Cute._ Hakkai thought absently as he settled the blanket back over the youkai. _Wait...did I just think that? I can't! Goku's my friend; it would be wrong to think of him that way._ He almost sounded angry in his thoughts as he backed away from the now large child and quickly left the room, placing a hand over the almost completely blind eye behind the monocle. _Why did I think that? Why now? This is terrible. I...I can't tell anyone about this. What will they think?_

Hakkai's thoughts were in turmoil; he had no idea what he should be thinking. But then he decided he didn't need to think anything at all. He figured there was no way that Goku would ever find out what it was he'd just thought, so he had no need to keep thinking about it. After all, there was also no way Goku thought the same way, about him.

* * *

Goku felt something quivering deep within his stomach, something alien to him. It was so foreign it woke him from a deep sleep, and he placed his hands on his stomach. The jumpy feelings felt like they were coming from his cubs!

"Hakkai! Hakkai!"

The Chi master, who'd been asleep on the bed across the room, instantly woke up, alert for any danger. "What's wrong, Goku? Is it an assassin?" Years of assassins attacking them in the night made the question reflex.

"No. I think something's wrong in my stomach! It feels weird!"

Hakkai quickly turned on a light and made his way over to where Goku was still protectively holding his midsection. He ran his Chi over the distended area, checking for any abnormalities that he might have missed before or had just showed up. After a few minutes, he let out a relieved laugh and took his hands away.

"Hakkai, why're you laughing? What's wrong with them?!" Goku was getting frantic; normal under the circumstances.

"Nothing's wrong, Goku. You just felt your babies moving; they do that in the placenta where they're located. If they only stayed in one position, well, it'd be very uncomfortable for you and them. You'll be feeling that a lot lately, as well as what people call "kicking" from them. That might get painful, depending on where they kick you." Hakkai informed him, putting his monocle back on; it'd fallen off while he was asleep.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. Is that why my chest has been hurting lately? Not my stomach, but up higher." Goku asked, pushing against where his ribs were supposed to be.

"No, not exactly. That would be because your body has pushed all your internal organs up your body to make room for the babies you will be having soon. The pain you occasionally feel is them moving."

By the end of the other little lecture, Goku was looking green. You never know what gross things you'll learn by listening to Hakkai.

Hakkai grinned; he knew what his friend was thinking. Looking towards the window, he noted the time. "Well, there's about half an hour until Sanzo will demand we get up. How about I make you breakfast?"

"That sound great!" Goku grinned as well, throwing back the blanket covering him; Hakkai turned away at finding the other clad only in an extra large t-shirt.

_These thoughts shouldn't have resurfaced so quickly! What's wrong with me?_ He thought frantically, walking to the other side of the room while Goku changed into his normal clothes, although with more area in the stomach area. _If I just surpress these feelings, then I've got nothing to worry about. It should be as simple as that._

Oh, if only Hakkai's intellect were good when it came to human emotions.

"'Kai, are you ready?" Goku called from directly behind him, and he jumped.

"Ah, yes. Lets go." Hakkai smiled, but it was his usual fakeish smile. Goku didn't really notice the difference, though; he was busy thinking about food. Again.

* * *

Once again, they were travelling by Jeep. There hadn't been any attacks in weeks, and all were expecting one soon, yet at the same time they were relaxing in the warm afternoon sun. And for once, none of them were fighting; they were all sitting with their own thoughts.

Goku was thinking, for once, about the tense atmosphere that surrounded him, something he'd missed at breakfast, when it'd started. He was worrying if he was the cause of it; he hoped he wasn't.

Hakkai was hoping that Hakuryuu hadn't catching a fever; he didn't seem to be feeling well that morning, and Hakkai was hoping it wasn't too serious. Although, the real reason he was focusing his thoughts on Hakuryuu was because he didn't want to keep thinking about Goku.

Gojyo had his thoughts centered on Dokugakuji, whom he'd recieved a letter from last night. His older brother was requesting, no demanding, a meeting with him soon. He wanted to "reminisce" about something that had happened years ago, something he really didn't want to think about. This time, though, it wasn't about their mother.

And Sanzo was thinking about what was going to happen in the later months. How were they going to take care of the babies Goku was carrying, now and when they were born? It was going to be even more hard to survive in the months to come.

They were all thinking pretty intensely, which is pretty funny if you think about it. After all, since when are the four heroes of the west intense in anything but fighting?

Then again, all that changed when the first enemy appeared.

* * *

"Hey, Kou, have you seen Yaone? She was supposed to be getting me this new potion she's been working on, but I can't find her."

Koukaiji glanced up from his desk, finding Dokugakuji standing in front of him. His first soldier wasn't wearing a shirt, per usual, but he was used to it. Koukaiji sighed, setting aside the general's report he'd been reading. "She said she was going to take Lirin out for a walk, and would be back later. What new potion has she been working on?" He wondered, standing and smoothing out his white coat. (a/n: His newer outfit, the awesome long white coat!)

"It's nothing really. Just something to help reduce hunger while on long missions with little to none provisions." Dokugakuji replied, crossing his arms together.

"Oh, is that it? She told me it was sitting on her bed; we can go get it now. You have something you want to tell me, correct?"

The latter nodded and followed his leader prince out of his office and down the hall, to where their personal chambers were. Yaone's was the farthest down, away from the men's. Koukaiji opened her door, it wasn't locked, and glanced around at the slightly feminine room. A purplish concoction in a large bottle was indeed sitting on her bed. Dokugakuji went foreword to grab it, but then settled himself on the floor when Koukaiji gave him a look.

"It's nothing bad, really. I've just been working to schedule a meeting with Sha. Off the record, of course. We havfe some unfinished business I want to settle. I didn't want to tell you in case you forbid it."

Koukaiji rolled his eyes; for how smart his soldiers were, they really didn't seem to know him. Of course, that was only half true, but that wasn't the point. "I would never forbid you from seeing your younger brother, Doku. You should know that. I just don't want you to go sneaking around behind my back. That I forbid." He said, looking straight into his subordinate's eyes.

"Yes, of course, Kou. It's not that I don't trust you..." He began, but Koukaiji waved him off.

"I know that already. Now, you have what you need, and I have what I need. We should get out of here; you never know how mad Yaone will get if she catches us lingering."

They both laughed. "That's true. Hey, Kou? ...Thanks." Dokugakukji's voice was soft, softer than it had ever been.

Koukaiji just waved him off, not looking at him. But the other already knew that he was smiling. He never liked sentimentalities, but it was always good to hear it.

**And there it's ending, once again. I just wanted to have a cute little friendship moment there; sorry, I couldn't resist and was hitting writer's block. Anyway! So, ever see the Dominos commercial where they're reenacting the civil war, or something, and they say each pizza was only 4.99? And the guy's like, "rubbish!" and shoots the car with a flaming arrow? Ah, funny. Sorry again, tangent there. Um, so please review for me!**

**Ayame**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Get over it. Besides that, though, I'm back for about a day! I'm getting sick of finding new activities and such for my lesson plans final, so I decided to write! I hope you enjoy this new chapter! And I'm thinkin you'll be noticing something changing between our main yaoi couple! :-)**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 7**

The enemy appeared out of nowhere; there were five of them, at least. And they weren't the low-class youkai the group was used to. They were just a little stronger, which worried Goku.

_This doesn't seem good. There's five that I can see, and they're strong, and I'm weaker and slower with my cubs. How is this going to work out?!_

Sanzo glanced over at the saru after blasting a shot at one of the youkai, who managed to dodge it, although just barely. Then he turned to Gojyo. "You're in charge of keeping Goku safe. Hakkai and I will try to keep them off of you guys."

Gojyo wanted to protest, but one look at Goku's worried face and Sanzo's glare, he changed his mind. Jumping down from Jeep, he helped Goku down, before running with him to get a safe distance away. His weapon, the staff with the retractable crescent blade on top, was hanging in his hands.

"Sanzo, this isn't good. We need to get rid of them, fast." Hakkai was serious as he called upon his Chi.

"I know. But make sure that none of them get to Goku." Sanzo commanded, taking another shot. This one killed the first youkai instantly.

Hakkai nodded and shot out the Chi, kiling another. Now there was only...two? Wait, where did the third one go?!

"Goku!"

Hakkai turned his head at Gojyo's shout, and his eyes widened. The third youkai had Goku by his throat, holding him up against a tree; not an easy feat, mind you. Gojyo was pinned to the ground by a sixth youkai they'd somehow missed.

"Sanzo!" Hakkai turned, then flinched as a youkai swiped his arm.

"I saw it. I'll handle these two; go help them." Sanzo killed the youkai in front of him, before turning to take on the youkai Hakkai left.

Goku almost let out a whine as the youkai's claws dug into his neck, but restrained himself in time. He could feel something happening below his stomach, a strange pushing sensation that caused his heart to race. He felt like something was going wrong, really wrong. No! That couldn't happen!

Hakkai blinked as a white light suddenly flashed, temporarily blinding him. When the stars in his vision finally cleared, he found Goku, collapsed on the ground and holding his stomach, alone. The youkai was gone, only black ashes on the ground remaining.

"Goku! Are you okay?" Hakkai asked, rushing foreword.

Goku looked up, and Hakkai noticed what looked like tears running down his cheeks. "Something's wrong, 'Kai! I can feel it! Something's wrong with my cubs!" He whined, his hands, tipped in claws, scratching lightly at his stomach.

Hakkai knelt and removed Goku's hands, leaving them to claw at the ground. He ran his own glowing hands over Goku's stomach, absently healing the marks on his neck. He frowned, quickly turning it into a frown the lower he drew his hands.

"Hakkai? What's going on?" Gojyo asked, having killed his youkai earlier and was currently wiping off his bloody face.

Sanzo also joined them, pocketing his gun as he did so.

"This is bad. Goku, I need you to calm down; take deep breaths, and lean yourself against that tree." Hakkai commanded, his hands glowing brighter as he placed them on the area just above Goku's pelvic area.

"What is it?" Sanzo asked, watching as Goku tried to do as Hakkai commanded, but ended up stopping on account of a rushing pain filled him, and he whined loudly.

"He's going into premature labor. It's not uncommon with twins to only go 36 weeks before going into labor, but it isn't good, either. I'm going to do my best to stop the contractions; you two do what you can to calm him down."

Gojyo grimaced; anything to not have to deal with this. Going over to Jeep, who was waiting patiently for them, he took out a rolled up blanket and some cooling juice, which he carried over to Goku. Sanzo took the blanket and placed it under Goku's back, to help him recline back as he situated the youkai between his spread legs. Goku had always been a clinger, so maybe being in contact with his "sun" would help him.

Goku reclined back instantly into Sanzo's warm embrace, heaving as he tried to slow his racing heart and ignore the pain in his stomach. His claws dug into Sanzo's wrists, but the chosen human didn't so much as flinch as he watched Hakkai working furiously and Gojyo trying to coax Goku into drinking the juice.

Goku frantically shook his head; he couldn't drink anything right now for he'd just throw it back up. That horrible pressure in his lower stomach was intensifying, and more tears coarsed down his tearducts. It was horrible! What was happening?!

Hakkai immediately tightened his own hands on Goku's stomach, glancing up at Goku's pained face. _Dammit! Something's blocking my Chi; he has to calm down more!_ He looked at Sanzo, who nodded.

Sanzo withheld an annoyed sigh, and placed his right hand on Goku's forehead. It used to work to calm the Seiten Tasei; maybe it'd work at calming him down. He felt the warm medal of the newer diadem against his palm, and heated skin with a gentle flush to it. The coolness of his palm did seem to calm Goku, though; he stopped hyperventilating, and relaxed a little beneath Sanzo's touch.

Hakkai exhaled in relief; his Chi was able to get through to the fetus. There he felt the two energies from the babies Goku was carrying; they were restless within his small body, scratching in the amniotic fluid surrounding them. Hakkai did his best to calm them with his Chi even as he checked to make sure no harm came to them. Apparently, Goku's youkai body and youkai energy absorbed any harm, though; they were perfectly fine.

Goku gasped from somewhere above him, relaxing even more. Good; he'd been successful in stopping the contractions. Now to repair the damage the contractions had done, which would be much more painful for Goku. The only good thing to do would be to put Goku to sleep, which he did effortlessly.

Sanzo caught Goku's limp body, and gave Hakkai a weird look.

"It's alright; I just put him to sleep. I have to push the babies back up through the canal they fell into, to make sure he doesn't go into premature labor again. It'll be painful, and him sleeping through it is the best."

Sanzo nodded, saying he understood. Then he looked around. "Where did Gojyo go?" He wondered aloud.

"I felt Dokugakuji's Chi earlier, so he's probably just meeting with his brother. Don't worry about him, worry about Goku."

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "Don't order me around." But he did turn his attention back to Goku.

* * *

"I'm surprised you're here this early. Didn't you say you'd come later on, such as at night?" Gojyo wondered, plucking out a cigarette and lighting it up.

"I had a little business west of here, and heard the commotion. What's going on with the kid?" Dokugakuji mused, accepting the cigarette Gojyo handed him. (a/n: If he didn't smoke before, he smokes now.)

Gojyo wondered how much he should tell his brother, but then decided it couldn't hurt to tell him all. After all, they weren't enemies now; they were more like friendly rivals. So he told all, excluding the fact that it was Homura who did it to Goku.

Dokugakuji widened his eyes in surprise; he hadn't expected that story to come out. Then again, Goku had looked really big, lying there on the ground.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Gojyo asked, staring up at the sky.

Doku shrugged. "It's not that important right now. We can talk about it later. But hey. Aren't you guys worrying about protecting the saru, now that he's pretty much useless?" He wondered, already forming a plan in his mind.

Gojyo gave him a strange look. "Yeah, we're worried, but he isn't as useless as you think. I think he's got a weird defense mechanism that his youkai has formed, in life or death situations. Why do you ask?"

Doku smirked. "We could offer you protection, you know. Since Kou's the prince, he has a lot of power."

"What would be the price, though?" _There's always a price._

"Kou would consider it helping out a friend in need; of course, I can't speak for him. Yaone would consider it a rarity to study, in a purely medical sense. Me? It gives me a chance to get to know you." Doku replied, still smirking.

Gojyo was going to decline, but then a sound caught his attention. It was a faint whine, and sounded like Goku, in pain. He blanched; he hated this. He hated that assassins had caused this to happen. It was that feeling that caused him to accept Doku's invitation.

"Fine; we accept your offer of protection. Give me about an hour to get them used to the idea, and then you can come for us. Does that work for you?"

Doku nodded. "Perfectly. We'll take you to Kou's palace with some silver dragons; one will be specially equipped for the saru."

Gojyo nodded, and went to rejoin his group. Doku stared after him for a few minutes, before grinning widely.

"This is just what Kou needs to bring him out of the funk he's been in since we finished that huge fight with the Wargod. It's perfect!"

He let out a laugh, before boarding the flying silver dragon he'd ridden over. Now to get Kou to agree to the plan.

* * *

"Absolutely not." Sanzo said, deadpan. He finished placing the unconscious Goku in a comfortable position in the back of Jeep, and stepped away, scowling.

"Come on, Sanzo. Do you want to keep have close calls like what happened earlier? Agreeing to this would be the better choice." Gojyo pleaded his case, helping Hakkai fold up the blanket they'd taken out earlier.

Hakkai was silent right now as he watched, climbing in the driver's seat to rest his body a little. He was weary from stopping Goku's body from doing what had seemed natural at the time.

"Oh, yeah? And did he say if Kougaiji knew about this so called plan? Or did he just make it up on the spot?" Sanzo asked, taking a beer out of the cooler laying next to Goku.

"Well, no, but that doesn't mean he'd automatically object! Think about this, Sanzo!"

Sanzo just glared as he popped open the beer and took a long drink. He turned when Hakkai suddenly spoke in a tired voice.

"Perhaps we should let Goku decide on what we should do, hm?" He wondered, watching as Goku's golden eyes wearily opened.

Sanzo growled and turned to the boy in question, while Gojyo smirked.

"What am I deciding?" Goku asked in a hoarse voice as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Sanzo was about to speak up, but Gojyo beat him to the punch. He told Goku of the offer Dokugakuji had told him about, and watched as Goku placed his hands around his middle in a comforting and protective gesture. He waited, just a little uncertain of what the saru would do.

Finally, Goku spoke up. "Sorry, Sanzo, but I agree with Gojyo. It's really hard to protect my cubs; my strength, speed, and defense have all dropped do to them. I can't protect them as well as I want to. If Kougaiji is offering to help me protect them, then I want to accept. I don't care what the price would be; I will do anything to help bring them safely into this world." His voice was whisper-soft, as if he were afraid of a reprimend.

Sanzo sighed; well, if that's what he wanted to do then he'd do it, even if he thought it was a trap. Hakkai smiled tiredly, and Gojyo nodded eagerly. All started at a voice from many feet away, suddenly breaking the tense silence that had descended upon them.

"That's good to hear, although I don't really expect much in return for my protection. So, you're agreeing to come with us?"

Goku looked up, and found Kougaiji standing some twenty feet away from Jeep, Doku and Yaone standing slightly behind him. Goku gave a little wave and Gojyo and Hakkai smiled, but Sanzo had his trade-mark smile on his face.

"Yes, I'm agreeing. You say that you can help me keep my cubs safe, within me, until it's time for them to be born?" Goku asked, serious for the moment.

Kougaiji nodded, just as serious. "Yes. As prince of youkai, I command everyone in my domain. I can promise you safety from those in that domain, and with the guards at my disposal, I can help fight any assassins sent your way."

Goku nodded. "And this isn't a trap? You promise you won't try to steal my cubs once they're born, or...or kill them now?" His voice slowly trailed off, and Kougaiji sighed.

"I have no need of your cubs, Goku. They're yours, and yours alone. I'll admit, I have an ulterior motive for welcoming you into my protection, but that has to do with problems I'm having with my own state of mind, not anything to do with you. And besides, I consider us...allies, of a sort, after you helped me during that last big battle."

Goku nodded once more, before his expression became distant. It appeared he was having a conversation with himself, or with Go. Suddenly, he smiled, and tried to get out of Jeep. Gojyo was immediately there to help him.

"Yes; I trust you. Can we leave now, though? I don't wanna run into more of those youkai."

Kougaiji nodded and turned to Yaone, who smiled at Goku and led him over to a fat silver dragon. Inside, Kougaiji was relieved that Goku had accepted his proposal. Very, very relieved. This was just what he needed to dispel that odd wrath that seemed to take him over at weird times of the days.

**And we're ending it here once more! Man, is it just me, or was that a really long chapter, compared to the others? I don't know. But anyway! What'd you think? And if you're wondering, yes, it is true that most women can only hold twins for about 34-36 weeks before their body usually forces them into labor. But can you really blame them? Anyway! Please review for me! This is probably the last chapter I'll be writing for a few weeks yet!**

**Ayame**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Well, here's where I'd tell you that I tried to buy the Naruto genin from Masashi Kishimoto, but he refused to sell them to me, and kicked me out of his office, but instead let's talk about how I'm back from my self-induced isolation away from writing! YAY!! I'm so happy to be back, with no more school, and no more finals!! So, be happy with my tired mind's ideas!!**

**Warnings: Yaoi, swearing, mentions of rape, insanity, and possible torture. For starters. If I'm missing anything, just go ahead and refer to the first chapter, and the next three after it.**

**Pairings: Realized I didn't put this here at all, I don't think, so here they are: Hakkai-Goku, mentions of Sanzo-Gojyo, later on will be Kougaiji-Yaone, and one-sided Homura-Goku.**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 8**

"Wow! Is that your palace, Kougaiji?" Goku asked tiredly, but still managed to project an overabundance of excitement in his voice.

Below them was a huge rock and wooden palace that rose up into the clouds and stretched over hundreds of acres of land. There were guards stationed not only at the front gates but also on and around the palace. A little ways to the east of it was a large lake, but it looked more like a puddle next to a house from the air.

Kougaiji, riding on a silver dragon next to the five hundred year old youkai, grinned, proud of his establishment. "Yeah; that's the youkai palace. Pretty impressive, isn't it? Although, I think maybe Father overdid it when he built it all those decades ago."

Sanzo snorted; that was an understatement. "There's a lot of youkai energy in the air around here. It seems you've employed more soldiers than your father. Can you trust all of them?" He asked, shifting uncomfortably atop his own silver dragon. Of course, he probably couldn't really blame it on the dragon; perhaps it was the stupid lecher's arms which were currently wrapped around him. He turned to glare at their source.

Said lecher, one Sha Gojyo, grinned, but refused to remove his arms.

Sanzo growled; why did he put up with this guy? One of those muscled, lean arms drifted lower than his stomach, resting just barely at the apex of his thighs. _Oh, that's right; __that's__ why I put up with him._ Sanzo didn't shiver, like his body wanted him to; instead, he growled again and steadfastly looked in front of him.

Gojyo chuckled and pushed his hand down a little more, feeling the monk tense beneath his hands. He wanted to do more, but felt he'd tortured the monk enough for now, and allowed the hands to drift back up to the monk's waist. He would save the play for later.

Hakkai saw the exchange out of the corner of his eye, and envied them for it. He wished he could have that, with someone. His eyes drifted unwittingly over to Goku; perhaps...

_No. I told myself I wasn't going to think anymore about that! I need...I need to stop thinking about him! Maybe some conversation will help keep my thoughts...clean._

"So, Kougaiji, has your rein as Youkai Prince been uneventful?" Hakkai wondered, his fake smile plastered on his face. Thankfully, no one noticed; at least, he hoped.

Kougaiji turned his attention away from Goku, who'd been wondering about the types of food his palace held, and glanced over at the monocled man. He shrugged. "I guess it has. At first there were a lot of uprisings, but that was just from the people who'd been infected. Since then, it's lessened a lot; my palace is only full of people I trust, that's true. It's mostly servants and, of course, my group."

Hakkai nodded. "That's good. And your food supply is good? I mean, not even fully-stocked restauraunts can easily accomodate Goku's appetite."

Goku scoffed. "Please. I'm eating for three here; cut me some slack! Oh, 'Kai, I meant to ask you. Have you ever heard of a plant that's shaped like an eggplant, about as big as one, except it's the color orange. And it's got weird carvings on it, and a large blue leaf connected to the stem."

Hakkai began to shake his head, then stopped. Actually, that did sound a bit familiar. He wracked his brain as to why that description sounded familiar, then jumped when he realized what it was. "Goku, are you talking about the _Amarante Fruit_?" He asked, surprised that Goku would know of such a rare plant.

"Is that it? I didn't know the name, but I've been dreaming about it for the past few nights. I think the cubs are trying to tell me I might need it." Goku rubbed a clawed hand over his distended middle.

"Do you even know what that fruit is? Or rather, what it's made of, and what it does?" Yaone asked, a little fearfully.

"No, but I know my cubs need it. Why; is it really bad?"

Hakkai answered for Yaone. "Goku, the Amarante Fruit is full of...well, no one is really sure exactly _what_ it is, but they know it's some type of ancient blood. The blood fills the fruit; you can suck it out by poking the veins and sucking. It's often used to gain power, or heal bad internal injuries."

Goku shrugged. "That stuff doesn't concern me. So, do you know where I can find any?" He really didn't care; he just knew that his cubs needed that fruit. They needed it to survive.

Kougaiji cleared his throat. "Actually, we carry a stock of Amarante fruit at the palace, in case of emergencies. While you're with us, you're welcome to have some. Hang on; we're descending."

Goku nodded and gripped the dragon's neck, watching everyone else do the same. The dragons landed gracefully in the center of the courtyard, where five female youkai were standing, waiting to take the dragons.

Dokugakuji reached up and drew Goku into his arms, being careful not to move the large child more than necessary. The others climbed down as wel, and allowed the youkai females to take the dragons away for food and rest. Kougaiji led the way to the guest rooms, beautiful, huge rooms that connected at the center by way of a parlor.

Dokugakuji laid Goku on the bed in the east room, moving back to allow Hakkai to check to see if the move had affected the earlier work he'd done on the youkai's body. It hadn't.

"Yaone, please fetch one Amarante Fruit from the vault. Bring it here, and let no one see it." Kougaiji commanded.

Yaone nodded and walked out; Gojyo moved out of the way to let her pass.

Sanzo pulled out the newspaper he'd been carrying around and flipped it open, settling himself on one of the only two chairs in Goku's room. Gojyo situated himself by the window so he could smoke, and Hakkai pulled the other chair up by Goku's bed.

"Hey, Sanzo, give me the comics section when you're done, 'kay?" Goku asked, pulling up the quilt, for he suddenly felt a draft from the open window.

"Sure, whatever." Sanzo allowed, pulling out the section and tossing it over.

"Comics? Somehow, it doesn't surprise me that you read such things." Kougaiji sighed, sitting Indian-style on the floor.

Goku was about to retaliate, but Yaone returned just then with the Amarante Fruit. Just the smell from the fruit make Goku's mouth water, and he eagerly held out his hands for it. Yaone hesitated, but Kougaiji nodded, and she pulled it out of a pouch on her waist and handed it over.

Goku used a claw to poke a hole in the bottom of the curved fruit, before bringing it to his mouth and sucking deeply the dark red, almost black fluid that dripped from the hole.

Everyone watched, fascinated and a little disgusted as Goku eagerly and happily sucked out all that the fruit held, not letting even a drop escape his quick tongue. His adams's apple bobbed spasmadically with each quick swallow, and his cheeks began to redden at holding his breath to drink.

Hakkai glanced away, covering his mouth. To others, it would appear he was holding down his lunch, but that wasn't true. In fact, he was was hiding his blush; watching his Goku suck juices like that made him hunger for something he shouldn't. Wait, _his_ Goku?

_**Accept it. Accept what you cannot change, and make the most of it.**_

The odd, resounding voice startled Hakkai, and he glanced around, readying a small amount of Chi in his hand just in case it was an enemy. Even though he knew that it wasn't; but it was something just as deadly.

_**Oh, come now. Don't try to guess just yet who I am; where's the fun in that? You'll find out soon enough. But in the meantime, just accept what you're feeling. Let it grow inside you, and build upon it, or else you won't survive.**_

Hakkai felt a chill at those words; they felt so foreboding, so ominous. Yet, at the same time, they elicited a feeling of exhileration, a feeling that something great was approaching in the future. But what did they mean?

He shook himself; there was no use worrying about at this moment. Although, the voice had appeared at the moment he'd called Goku "his." _Perhaps...perhaps, I am not to forsake my feelings? Perhaps, it would not be such a bad thing, liking him in secret. He would never know, and I would not be so conflicted. Yes, perhaps that would work._ He smiled, a real smile, as he reached this decision, and turned to take the fruit that Goku was handing to him.

"That was sooo good, Kougaiji. The cubs really needed that. But, I'm feeling kinda tired right now. Would you guys mind if I went to sleep now?" He asked, already yawning as he patted his now soothed stomach.

"That's fine, Goku. You may sleep for as long as you like, whenever you like. In fact, it's better that way. One of us will always be either in this room or the parlor, so if you ever need something, just call out." Hakkai smiled gently as Goku as he brushed the youkai's long hair back, feeling estatic at receiving a cute smile from Goku in return.

The man-child's eyes slowly drifted closed, and before long he was sleeping soundly, that hand still on his stomach. Hakkai sighed and turned to the others.

"I'll stay here for today and tonight. If you wouldn't mind, Kougaiji, could you have someone bring us dinner?"

"You don't have to do that; I'll stay with the saru. You should be the one making him dinner; he likes yours the best." Gojyo protested, flicking the cigarette stub out the window.

But the Chi master shook his head. "No; it's alright. I'm feeling a little tired, so I'll stay, and rest by his side. I'll wake up if he needs anything; you guys go do whatever you want. Really; I don't mind." He smiled when he saw Gojyo was about to protest again.

"Let him do what he wants, Gojyo. We'll go check out the palace; make a map for the saru." Sanzo commanded, folding the newspaper back up and setting it on the chair he'd just vacated. "Here; I'll leave this in case you guys get bored later."

He and Gojyo left, accompanied by Yaone and Dokugakuji. Only Kougaiji and Hakkai remained in the room with Goku. Kougaiji spoke before the monk had a chance to.

"If you're going to ignore your feelings, I hope you'll be doing it for his sake, and not your own. I won't forgive you if you hurt him." It came out as a growl.

Hakkai didn't speak for long moments. He merely sat there, deciding what he would speak to this enemy-turned-friend. Finally, he decided to speak the truth.

"I have decided that I will not forsake my feelings; however, I will never speak of them to him. He would never accept them; not from me. To tell him would only hurt his heart, in the end."

Kougaiji turned with a whirl of his coat, but paused at the door. "You need not be so worried, _Chi master_. If you think that, then you really don't know how the saru thinks, after all." And then he was gone.

Hakkai couldn't move after those parting comments. He didn't understand; he couldn't understand. There was no way Goku would accept him; would accept how he felt. He'd be disgusted, he'd hate him forever! What Kougaiji told him couldn't be true!

_**Oh, don't be such a bore. You know that isn't true. And if you think it is true, then the prince was right.**_

Hakkai shook his head to clear the voice, but it didn't go away. It kept repeating those same sentences, over and over, until the only thing he could do was close his eyes, lay his head on his arms next to Goku's sleeping body, and allow his mind to completely drift away from him into the world of dreams.

**Okay, and there's the update for this story! Woohoo! Wow, I went through a whole story without one break. Yay for me! Oh, and for those of you who are wondering, _Amarante_ means _Flower That Never Fades_. I thought it was appropriate, for reasons you'll find out later. Well, I can't think if I got off-topic or not; I was watching the movie **_**300**_** while typing this. Just so you know, not a good thing to do. Anyway, please review for me, cause I'm going to recharge my system with RAMEN!!**

**Ayame**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Good evening, chickies! It's time for another update! And, of course, for me to once again mourn the fact that I don't own Saiyuki, and will never own them, considering the fact my lawyer has told me that's impossible. But enough of that. Instead, why don't you just enjoy this new edition of ****What Dreams May Come.**** Oh, that reminds me. It's a time skip in this chapter! A time skip of about a month, but you'll get a recap on what that month has been like. I just really need to get on with the story line here! Oh, and be PREPARED!! I have put some FLUFF in this chapter! Enjoy.**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 9**

**Time-Skip: 1 Month:** _Goku's POV:_

These past four weeks at Kougaiji's place have been amazing! And let me tell you, I wasn't expecting that at all! I mean, I knew he was a pretty okay guy and all, what with how many times he saved Yaone, and Lirirn, and even Dokugakuji, but I never expected him to be nice to us. And yet he leant us all rooms to stay in, and food, and even made sure everyone had what they wanted to be happy. Oh, and did I mention he gave us food?!

Anyway, I've been officially ordered to bedrest the last month, which was really boring, by the way. But Go's kept me busy, teaching me new techniques, although for some reason I haven't talked to him in over a week. And Hakkai's teaching me how to play Shogi, which is really confusing; he beats me every time! At first, I was a little afraid to be so close to him all the time, but it's actually kinda cool. I mean, I can be close to him, and admire him, and he won't think anything on it!

Oh, that reminds me. I should probably tell him that the cubs have been really restless lately; it's got me really worried. They've never been so active before. Hm, I guess I'll tell him when he comes with lunch in a few hours.

_Narrator POV:_

Hakkai hummed a little tune as he made his way to the kitchen, a small smile gracing his face. You might wonder why he was so happy, which seemed to be in little supply lately. The reason for his cheery disposition would be one thing: Goku. Of course. And his thoughts were, once again, centered on Goku, of course, as seemed to be the norm in the past month.

_Yesterday has definately made the top five in my favorite days of my life so far. Actually, ever since I allowed myself to accept that I like Goku, all of my favorite nights have been in the past month, but this one's fighting for number one. Although, probably not for him. He seemed to be in pain, holding his stomach while we were playing Shogi, and I got to hold him! For almost an hour he sat in my lap, and I was the happiest man, __youkai__ alive! He was warm, and surprisingly soft for all the times he's faught youkai. And he snuggled right up to me!_

Hakkai sighed, his face taking on a dreamy quality as he relived last night. It had been so amazing he'd never wanted to let Goku go. His eye was still shining brightly when he stepped into the kitchen where Dokugakuji, who they'd learned was actually a very good cook, was just finishing up his and Goku's lunch. It had become ritual for he and Goku to take their meals together.

"What's got you so uppidy?" Dokugakuji asked, placing a big cup of apple juice on the first tray.

"Hm? Oh, nothing. It's just a very nice day outside!" Hakkai told him, still smiling. He just couldn't help it!

Dokugakuji shook his head, wiping his messy hands on his long apron. "Sure. Give it up. We all know you like Goku, and you being happy only reinforces that."

Hakkai winced; he thought he'd been more subtle than that. "Ah, exactly how many people know this?" He asked, picking up the first tray in one hand.

"Not Goku, if that's what you're wondering. Now hurry; you know how weird he gets when he's hunry." Dokugakuji put the other tray in Hakkai's other hand, and motioned him away. Hakkai left without a backward glance, ignoring all else around him. The strong youkai sighed. "Boy, you need to tell him soon, or else it might be too late."

* * *

Goku glanced up at the soft knock, knowing it signaled Hakkai. "Come in, Goku! Did you bring me food?" He called, feeling a stab of happiness shoot through him as Hakkai walked into the room.

"Yes, I've got it with me. Did you think up a good game for us to play?" Hakkai asked, setting the trays on the large bed before settling himself in front of Goku, his legs crossed.

"Yeah! I actually thought of it while Gojyo was playing with Sanzo. It's called "Never Have I Ever." Have you played before?" He asked, biting into a thick, meaty thigh of some game he'd never seen before.

Hakkai chuckled, cutting up another piece of meat for Goku to eat easier. "Yes, I have. In fact, Gojyo was the one who introduced it to me. You want to play?" He asked, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah! Um, you go first!" Goku commanded, watching that knife slice cleanly through the thick meat.

"Hm, alright. Never have I ever gotten drunk."

Goku scoffed; of course. "Okay, my turn. Never have I ever...read a book to the end."

Hakkai chuckled again; he'd seen that coming. "Let's see...Never have I ever dressed up as a girl."

It was Goku's turn to laugh. He hadn't even thought of that! Surprisingly, this book was good at having certain secrets you never knew you had come out into the open. They'd been playing for almost half an hour, having finished their lunches, before it started to get intense. Although, it was partially Goku's fault for it turning out that way. It was his fault for his "never have I ever."

"Never have I ever kissed anyone before." Goku said it with a smile, but he was serious, and Hakkai saw that.

Hakkai felt his heart stop, before racing a mile a minute. _Is he trying to tell me something? Is this an invitation? Should...should I act on it? But wait! What about if he's just saying that, and doesn't mean anything about it! So, then I shouldn't act on it! Should I?_ He was so confused, he didn't realize Goku was staring at him.

_Oh, no. Did I say something weird? Is it...wrong that I've never kissed anyone? Is he...disgusted? No! I can't have that!_ Goku was so overwrought he began sweating profusely. He gasped loudly, breaking Hakkai out of his thoughts.

Hakkai turned to look at Goku, noticing he was slightly flushed and sweating. He immediately leaned foreword, placing a hand on Goku's forehead, and the other on his cheek. "Are you feeling alright, Goku? You feel pretty warm. Are you getting sick?" He asked, worried.

Goku began to breathe heavily as he noticed Hakkai was now closer than he'd been before. His thoughts started racing, and he just couldn't control himself anymore. _I can't take this! All these bottled up feelings, and my worry over the cubs, I can't take it!_ Shaking his head, he reached up and gripped Hakkai's hands in his own clawed hands, pulling him foreword until their chests bumped together.

"Um, Goku...?" Hakkai began, before stopping, his eyes widening. Goku leaned his head upward, his lashes falling down to cover gleaming eyes as if in slow-motion, and Hakkai exhaled heavily, watching those pert lips part to catch his breath. They were so close; he could feel the heat coming from Goku.

Goku breathed in Hakkai's scent, something outdoorsy that made him hot inside. Shivering slightly, he leaned up the next few centimeters, and pressed his burning lips to Hakkai's cold ones, gasping at the feel. He felt Hakkai stiffen for a few moments, and was about to draw away; he'd gotten what he wanted, what he needed.

Hakkai couldn't think, couldn't breathe. Goku was kissing him! Kissing _him_! This was so unreal! He tried to think of something to do, anything, or at least something to say, but then he felt Goku stiffen and begin to draw away, and immediately reached out his hands, pulling him even closer. Their bodies clashed, his stomach against Goku's distended belly, and he breathed in deeply, his muscles quivering.

Goku sighed, his strong arms reaching up to bind Hakkai to him as his lips parted. The chi master, taking the hint, let his tongue leave his mouth, searching inside that hot, moist cavern. He sipped as if from something delightful, and then, when his desires took over, he began to devour that hot little treat.

Goku felt like he was burning up! Hakkai's hands tightened on his hands, and he felt that fleshy muscle that had been previously exploring his mouth now begin to toy with his own. He groaned in pleasure, his claws biting just a little into Hakkai's neck. The chi master hissed, but it wasn't in pain. Goku had been feeling pleasure, the best pleasure of his life, and the cubs were finally quiet, when suddenly something else began to intrude on his pleasure.

At first it was just a worry, a small nagging that took him away from the sea of desire. Then it was a pushing sensation in his stomach, like a dropping deep within him. He let out a whimper of distress, and Hakkai immediately pulled back.

"I'm sorry, Goku! I never meant to push you like that! I didn't even mean to jump you, and now I've hurt you! Where are you hurting; are you okay?" Hakkai spoke quickly to get over his embarrassment.

But the youkai quickly waved away his worries away. "It's not you, 'Kai. I loved that, and I wouldn't have stopped, only my stomach just started hurting all of the sudden. I think something's wrong." Goku worriedly put his palms on his pulsating stomach.

Hakkai immediately switched to medic mode. "Where does it hurt? How bad is it?" He asked, his hands already glowing.

"It's low in my stomach. It really, really hurts, Hakkai! It's like...something's pushing at me, and I can't stop it!" Goku whined, his neck arching as a sudden shaft of pain worked through his body, originating just above his pelvis.

Hakkai moved his glowing hands over Goku's abdomen, frowning as he moved them lower. Then he paled. "Oh, _shit._ Gojyo! Sanzo! Kougaiji, I need some of you in here!" He called, his voice almost turning frantic. When he felt Goku begin to panic, he turned and placed a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead. "Don't worry, Goku. Can you walk? I need you to come with me." Hakkai pulled the boy carefully to his feet, practically carrying him to the door.

"What's going on, Hakkai?" Gojyo asked, entering the room with his arm linked with Sanzo's. Surprisingly, neither of the two noticed.

"Goku's going into labor; it'll be fast, and hard, and I can't stop it. I'm going to move him to the hot springs; can you help me? Sanzo, I need you to go get Yaone." Hakkai commanded, watching as Gojyo took half of Goku's weight.

They took Goku to the underground healing hot springs as swiftly and carefully as they could, all three breathing in relief as they smelt the sulfur of the water. They lowered Goku into the water, hearing him hiss in slight pain, and then relief. Hakkai removed his vest and entered the water with him, instructing Gojyo to hold him around the middle. He felt along the boy's stomach, feeling the strong contractions even through the layer of skin. Then he smelled something other than the sulfur.

_"Shit."_ He breathed, glancing down at the water. It was slowly beginning to turn red, just as Goku's eyes were slowly beginning to dull.

"What is it, Hakkai?" Gojyo asked worriedly, not able to see the water from his vantage point.

"I don't know, Gojyo, but something's wrong. Something isn't right with the cubs, and it's causing Goku to hemmorhage. This is really bad. Where are Yaone and Sanzo?!" He growled out, feeling Goku's muscles clench under his hands.

"Hakkai! What's going on?!" Goku whined, barely able to breathe through the pain he was experiencing. It was sharp, and hot, and the relief of the hot water was no longer helping.

"I'm not sure, Goku. But your cubs are somehow harming your body. We need to get them out of you, and fast." He was wearing his serious face, and Gojyo really began to worry.

_I hope Sanzo and Yaone get here soon. I don't want to be here when Goku gives birth, especially if something's wrong!_ He thought, his face dripping with sweat.

Just then, Hakkai began to notice something else beneath his hands; it felt weird, like something was swiping back and forth beneath his palms. Then his chi picked up what was happening. Something sharp was tearing at Goku's stomach from the inside!

**Dun dun dun!! Sorry to end it there, but I want to make you guys wait for what's going to happen. I know what is, but I just don't wanna write it. Anyway, next chapter's the birth, and you finally get to find out what exactly made Homura rape Goku! It's gonna be good, I think. But don't you just love the game, Never Have I Ever? It rocks! Anyway, please review for me! I relish hearing what you think, and if any of you care to guess what's going to happen at the birth!**

**Ayame**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Saiyuki; those darn lawyers have officially said that it isn't going to ever be possible to own them! I cry. Anyway, it's finally time to update this! Yay! And guess what, there's finally an admission of feelings in this chapter! Of course, it's right after a huge horrorish scene. And, we ****finally**** find out why Homura did what he did. Oh yeah, I keep forgetting; I have no beta or Microsoft Word, so ignore any and all errors.**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 10**

_Previously:_

_Just then, Hakkai began to notice something else beneath his hands; it felt weird, like something was swiping back and forth beneath his palms. Then his chi picked up what was happening. __Something sharp was tearing at Goku's stomach from the inside!_

_Not Previously Anymore:_

Goku whined loudly, a loud keening sound escaping clenched teeth. He could barely breathe; there was a pressure on his lower back, his pelvic area, pushing downward. And that tearing, rending pain in his abdomen! He could barely stand it, and Hakkai couldn't seem to be able to do anything about it. "Hak_kai!_" He whined again, pitiously, claws tearing at the air.

Hakkai was working furiously, trying to stop the bleeding, to stop the tearing, to stop the birth, but it wasn't working. Nothing he was doing was working! _This can't be happening! Why is this happening?! If this continues, he'll die!_

"Hakkai, snap out of it!"

That was Sanzo's voice, harsh and demanding, forcing compliance. Hakkai's head jerked up; there were Sanzo and Yaone, both pale, watching him with worried looks. He shook his head; there wasn't anything he could do. Sanzo scowled, but his eyes were a different story. There was emotional pain in them, a pain he didn't want to feel. Hakkai watched as the holy man made his way over to the hot spring the chimp was in, laying a rough hand on the boy's sweating head. The man didn't even seem to notice him, with his eyes glazed over and opened painfully wide.

"What can I do, Hakkai?" Yaone asked, holding a hand against her mouth in pity or fear, he didn't know. She noticed Gojyo slipping out of the room, but didn't bother to stop him; if she could, she'd leave too.

"There isn't anything we can do, now. We can just make him comfortable. I can't even stop the pain he's feeling." Hakkai's voice was soft, and it broke during the middle of the sentence. He felt so helpless!

"Oh my God, Hakkai! What's happening to his stomach?!" Sanzo hissed, and Hakkai looked down, feeling horror at the sight that greeted him.

There was more blood, a lot more blood. And it was spilling from the ever growing horizontal gash on Goku's stomach, a gash that he now knew to be made from claws. He could see the claw slicing through the skin, and resisted the urge to gag.

"This...is horrible! It looks like...the babies are tearing themselves from his body." He whispered, feeling a burning behind his eyes. This was all going so wrong; it wasn't supposed to be like this! The gash was only growing bigger, longer, now actually revealing the way into Goku's stomach area. There was a tiny, clawed hand peaking out; it was kind of a freaky sight.

Then, realizing he no longer heard any sound, Hakkai looked up, and gasped. Goku's head had fallen back, his eyes open but completely blank and dull, his lips slightly parted for harsh pants. He was extremely pale, his looks almost ashen under that tan skin. This was only getting worse, but he figured he'd best make the most of what was given to him. Although, this would be hard.

"Sanzo, hold Goku's hands, tight. I don't want him moving at all. Yaone, I need clean blankets, lots of water. Warm water, preferably from these hot springs, but not this one." Everyone hurried to obey.

Breathing in deeply and exhaling loudly, he set to work. The baby had already torn open the stomach; he didn't have to do anything about that now. Instead, he gulped and, using his chi to sterilize his hands, he worked one hand into that gash, feeling around. It didn't take long; he just had to follow that one tiny hand still stick out. He worked his other hand inside, felt around until he grasped the infant's head and back, and drew it out, placing it in the warm, slightly damp towel Yaone held. He didn't bother looking at it, and instead went back into the body, feeling around for the other baby. It was up slightly higher than the first, and on the right, but was fairly easy to draw out. He gave it, too, to Yaone, and immediately placed his hands on the gash, drawing on his waning powers to heal the gash as fast and as correctly as he could. There wasn't much internal damage; he could heal it all. But the damage was done to Goku's mind, and he didn't know if the boy would gain back his mind.

"Hakkai? Is he going to be alright?" Sanzo whispered, almost spooned against Goku's prone body.

Hakkai wondered that as well, as he took the first, clean baby from Yaone. It was squalling loudly, fiercy, practically growling as its limbs moved slightly. A full head of dark brown hair, but since it was an infant, the color of the eyes, which hadn't opened yet, were unnoticable. It was a male, which tiny sharp claws, tiny fangs, and tan skin. And it was also clearly recognizable, even in this tiny form. Hakkai gulped, and showed the baby to Sanzo, who cursed.

"This is the other baby; it's a girl." Yaone came up and showed this baby to the two as well. Like her twin brother, this tiny girl had a full head of hair, although hers was dark, practically black, like her other parent's hair. She was completely calm, sleeping in the youkai's arms, unlike her brother, who seemed to be fighting being held.

Of course, there was a reason for that. It seemed that they were looking at a miniature Seiten Tasei, one who wasn't meant to be controlled. Goku had given birth to a creature that had been trapped inside him for centuries. For the first time in his life, Hakkai actually felt faint.

"Hakkai! You didn't answer me!" Sanzo was just as worried, if not more so, than his long-time friend. The other not speaking wasn't helping this any at all.

The chi master drew himself back with an effort, shaking his head. He looked down at Goku, but the youkai boy appeared to be sleeping now. He didn't look like he was in pain. "I honestly don't know, Sanzo. He's healed, but with this trauma, it's uncertain if he'll want to wake up or not. I suppose the only thing we can do is wait. Well, that and get him out of this water, dry, and dressed. And keep the babies quiet, so he gets a lot of sleep."

Sanzo nodded. It wasn't much, but it was all they could do at the moment. And dammit, he hated feeling useless! He clenched his teeth, easing both he and Goku from the water. The boy was so light, even though he was still full with fat left over from the babies. It was startling. And while he took care of his charge, the others took care of the cubs. And Gojyo finally came back to the room, once all the gore was gone.

* * *

A pulse of life from deep within a huge tower. Bicolored eyes, one a swirling pretty blue and the other a deep golden, opened lazily, and a head lifted off a palm to stare at the closed-eyed man in an odd off-white outfit. The sound of clanking chains echoed throughout the room.

"So, it's happened then?" Those bicolored eyes turned to look at the third person in the room with spiked orange hair, an eyepatch over one eye, and a gun over one shoulder.

The owner of those eyes nodded slowly, and spoke in a deep, almost amused (a/n: And totally sexy; you've got to admit that Jason Douglas has a totally sexy voice!) voice. "Yes, Zenon, it's finally begun. What I've waited so long for will start soon."

The man with the closed eyes spoke now, in a soft, whispered voice. "Would you care to explain exactly why you did this to the boy, Homura? I thought we were going to leave them alone."

The man on the throne, Homura, sighed. "I was. But I need something before we can fully rest. We need a child of the Seiten Tasei's for what happens next. But still, we have a few years yet before we can really do anything."

"Are you going to just let them be, then, while we wait?" Zenon asked roughly, a little annoyed.

Homura smirked. "Of course not. We're going to watch over them until that time comes, and protect them. I can't have my precious instruments, not to mention my child, die before I can use him, no can I?"

Two sets of sighs were heard. "Homura, you are one sick bastard, you know that?" Zenon spoke, shaking his head. The other man didn't speak.

"I know. That's why I need that child. How else will I live?" Homura questioned, but it was rhetorical.

"Can you survive until we can use it?"

Homura shrugged. "That's interminable, Shien. But I guess we'll find out soon, won't we?" He started to hum a song, a sad, maddening song that shouldn't be heard by anyone. But it was the perfect song for him. (a/n: Really, I've got the perfect song for him!)

* * *

"Sanzo, you're still awake?"

Sanzo looked up, surprised to see Hakkai walking into the extra room, now a nursery. The monk was holding the miniature Seiten Tasei, who seemed strangely calm in his hands, nuzzling into those cream robes. He shrugged, careful not to disturb the infant. "This guy kept me awake by crying. He does it anytime I put him down."

Hakkai nodded, and went to check on the other infant. It appears she was awake as well, moving her arms and legs restlessly. He sighed and bent over the bed to pick her up; she calmed almost instantly in his arms. He turned back to Sanzo, his smile only half-fake. "They don't have names yet. Shall we just call him 'boy' and her 'girl' until Goku wakes?" He deliberately used the word "until."

Sanzo shrugged, sucking on an unlit cigarette. He wouldn't risk Hakkai's wrath if the man caught him smoking around infants. "I guess. So, he hasn't woken up yet, then?"

Hakkai shook his head. "No. He's perfectly fine; even the inside of his stomach, where he was torn. Perhaps it's a side-effect of losing the Seiten Tasei?" He really didn't know anything about this, either.

"It doesn't matter, I guess. It probably won't matter, either, unless he doesn't wake up. But we'll find out eventually, won't we? An-ow!" He cursed loudly; the infant had bitten him!

"Oh, dear. He might be hungry; Yaone and I made a formula earlier for them, basing it off what normal youkai infants need. Here, take her, and I'll feed him." They exchanged infants, and Hakkai couldn't help it; he felt so _good_ holding the baby. _If only he were mine, than this would be perfect. If only __they__ were mine._ He thought sadly, rubbing the nipple of the bottle against the infant's lips. He eagerly accepting the foreign object, and greedily began sucking. Hakkai smiled, for real, and felt a weight on the back of his head. He turned, and found Sanzo looking at him. He was puzzled.

Sanzo suddenly stood, putting the girl back on the bed before making his way to the door. He stopped, though, once he was beside Hakkai, and spoke softly. "I would think, after today, you wouldn't be so hesitant to show your feelings." And then he was gone, leaving Hakkai sweating.

_How is it that everyone knows?!_ It was a silent wail in his mind. Hakkai looked down at the feeding child, and smiled sadly, before it blossomed into a grin. _Well, I suppose if everyone's telling me the same thing, then it's the right path to take! Isn't that right, little one?_ He ran a finger down that puffed cheek, and earned a soft growl. He chuckled. "Yes, that's right. It's finally time to tell your 'mother' how I feel; after, of course, he gets his strength back."

_Well, you guys, here's the song Homura's humming: Seriously, it's pretty good for him! Of course, I haven't actually listened to it, only read the lyrics, but it sounded good! It's called People Hate Me, by Murderdolls._

I'm wretched, I'm infested, rejected and infected  
I'm a loser, I'm a winner, a born-again sinner  
Cut my throat and watch me bleed, addicted tragedy  
And I hate you and you hate me  
So stand in line motherfkers don't waste my time  
-pre-chorus-  
See me in the headlines  
Manipulate your simple minds  
So put your hands up and praise  
I'm your god and you're my slave  
-chorus-  
**And people hate me, cause I'm better than you**  
And people hate me  
And that's the motherfuking truth  
People hate me and you can all fuck off  
**I'm perfect, pissed off, beautiful, I'm god**

I'm a hooker, I'm your priest  
I'm you brand new disease  
I'm Satan with distortion, your overdue abortion  
And now I'm singing out of key, the god of your T.V.  
And all you children will worship me  
So give me drugs, your bitches, and your S.T.D's  
-pre-chorus/chorus-  
I'm wicked and addicted, middle-finger double-fisted  
I'm neurotic drug-induced and chemically abused  
Cut my throat and watch me bleed  
Addicted tragedy  
And I hate you and you hate me  
Wipe the snot onto my sleeve  
For I'm your new disease

See me in the headlines  
Manipulate your simple minds  
**So put your hands up and praise, I'm your god...  
**  
I'm homicide on parade, a bloody nose, serenade  
I'm a human hand grenade  
I'll never rot and never go away  
-chorus-

**Hm, that was unexpected. Well, actually, I've had this scene, well, the birth, planned for many, many weeks now. Seriously, many weeks! Although, I'm still unclear what Homura's plan is, but it'll work itself out. And, Hakkai's finally going to admit his feelings! But will Goku accept him, or reject him? Will Goku even wake up?! Anyway, please review, and I'll try to get the next update up sooner! And really, no one bothered to tell me I got the names of Homura's minions wrong? Thanks a lot, guys.**

**Ayame**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Well, I'm back. Lets see if this chapter wants to get written before my vacation! It should, it's like a week away. Hm, lets recap: Hakkai has decided to inform Goku of his feelings, since everyone seems to think he should, but the question is: will he be able to? Will he do it subtly, or will he be as obvious as possible? And will Goku accept them?! So many questions, so few answers! Enjoy.**

**What Dreams May Come**

**Chapter 11**

"Mng."

The can of beer stopped just before parted lips, and crimson eyes stopped staring at the starry sky to turn and look at the shifing body of one youkai child, feeling the tiniest spark of hope fluttering in a small heart. It couldn't truly be, could it?

"Nng. Mm."

_Oh, shit. Where's Sanzo? No, shit, where's Hakkai when I need him?_ Gojyo slammed his beer down on the table he was sitting at, not even caring that it spilled (a/n: Shocker...) and quickly left the room via the door connecting to the parlor, where he'd hopefully find someone.

"Hakkai! Sanzo!" He jogged into the room, tripped over an errant newspaper, and growled before straightening and staring into violet eyes.

"What the hell is it that you've got to be so loud when it's freaking evening?! And you're going to wake up the babies, you idiot!" Sanzo said, his voice rising the longer he spoke as his hand reached for his fan.

"Yes, what is it, Gojyo? Is something wrong with Goku?" Hakkai asked, the female baby sleeping quietly on his shoulder, on the light cloth.

"Yes, something's wrong! Maybe, I don't know! Just come on!" Gojyo snapped, quickly turning around to go back to Goku, whose stomach had mysteriously dimished completely after resting the two days he'd been officially comatose.

"What's wrong with him?! Sanzo, here, take her." The monk and chi user made the switch easily, as they'd been doing it often in the past couple of days, and Hakkai rushed after Gojyo. His heart was beating rapidly; he could feel sweat beading on his forehead as he feared the worst. But, when he saw the figure on the bed, he stopped cold, completely freezing in place.

"Well, Hakkai?! What is it?" Sanzo demanded, coming up right on their heels. He had to push Hakkai a few times to get him to move out of his way so he could see what was wrong.

Confused golden eyes stared back at him, holding just a fraction of the innocence they used to have. Tousled brown hair hung straight against skin glistening with sweat, and a golden circlet gleamed in the dim light.

As soon as he saw that Goku was awake, staring at him with confusion that tripled on seeing the baby, the monk turned to Gojyo and immediately brandished his gun, pointing it straight at the kappa's head. He was just about to pull the trigger, too, when Goku's groggy voice met his ears.

"Sanzo? Gojyo? Hakkai? What happened? I don't remember anything except playing a game with 'Kai." Goku sleepily rubbed his right eye, yawning loudly as he gingerly sat up in the bed, wincing a little as he pressed a hand over his stomach.

"Goku, it's so good that you're awake! How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Hungry?" Hakkai asked, sitting down on the side of the bed so he could run a cursury chi check on the boy.

"Che. You ask him if he's hungry after he's just woken up from a two-day coma." Sanzo muttered, rocking slowly back and forth, since the baby had whimpered a little in her sleep.

"Well, at least I asked him if he was in pain first." Hakkai smiled, but it held a worried tinge to it. Goku still hadn't answered, and while he didn't find anything wrong with the youkai, that didn't necessarily mean he wasn't in pain.

"Well, if you are hungry, Goku, here's some meat buns left over from lunch. They're not warm, but they're still good." Gojyo picked up the plate with only a few meat buns left and walked to the bed, holding the plate out for Goku, who was still looking a little overwhelmed.

"Goku?" Hakkai quietly asked, leaning a little closer, and that seemed to jerk the 500+ youkai out of his stupor.

"...My stomach hurts, Hakkai." Goku whispered, wincing again; any motion he did made it feel like something was pulling at his stomach. It was more than a little bit uncomfortable, and he wasn't hungry at all.

"Hm." Hakkai frowned, and ran his hand again along Goku's stomach, carefully not touching the skin, making sure he didn't miss anything. It didn't seem like he...wait. There was a long line along Goku's stomach, hidden by the skin and the lining of his stomach; it appeared to be hiding, and a slowly healing reminder of what Goku's body had been through in birthing his twins.

"The waiting is going to kill me, Hakkai. Hurry up." Gojyo spoke for both himself and Sanzo. He didn't like the pained look that had descended on Goku's face, and he imagined the others were feeling the same way.

"Oh, sorry. I was thinking. It appears that Goku's got a healing wound just beneath his skin. I don't know how I missed it the other day; I must not have been careful enough. Goku, I want you to lay back now, and try not to move around too much." He, as carefully as he could, laid Goku back on the bed, a hand over Goku's to try to dull the pain. But that didn't seem to be working. "Now, Goku, we've all got two people we want you to meet." He motioned for Sanzo to bring foreword the baby girl and to go get the other twin.

Goku's eyes widened exponentially as he took in the tiny form of the girl, swathed in a pure white blanket, and reverantly held up his hands for her. He knew immediately that she was his; not only could he smell a faint trace of his genetic line in her, but he could feel it instinctively. He frowned, though, when Hakkai refused to let him hold her, and glanced up at the human-turned-youkai.

"Goku, I don't think it would be wise for you to hold her just yet. You could strain that healing area, and it would put you in pain. Plus, I would like you to eat something. Gojyo, hold her here so Goku can play with her, and I'll go make you a healthy dinner." Hakkai smiled and patted Goku's head, before wandering out of the room, passing by Sanzo, who was carrying a whimpering Seiten Tasei miniature.

"I had a girl? _And_ a boy?" Goku whispered, watching as Sanzo sat next to Goku, looking annoyed but obediently holding the now almost-squalling baby out for Goku to see.

"Yes. You had them two days ago, after which you slipped into a coma. We haven't named them yet. Now, what are you going to call her?" Sanzo questioned, not noticing that his reading glasses were still perched atop his nose from reading the newspaper earlier.

"Hm, names. I hadn't really thought about those at all. Can't we just call her girl, and him boy?" Goku asked stupidly, a finger poking between his lips.

Sanzo really, really wanted to just hit the dumb saru. His fingers were actually twitching from the need to hit him. But he refrained, for two reasons. The first was that Hakkai was coming back into the room with food, and the second was because although he would never admit it, he did truly like Goku, and didn't want to cause him any more pain than he was obviously in. But that didn't mean he had to like it!

"Here you are, Goku. Now, it might be hard to eat this, but I'm going to situate you so that you've got a pillow over that stomach of yours, and move you as carefully as possible to have you sit up a little. You need to eat, and get your strength up." Hakkai spoke in a no-nonsense voice was he set the tray on the table and went about doing just what he'd said. He did his best to ignore the hisses and grunts that escaped Goku as he was moved, but it was hard. Very hard, especially now that he'd accepted his feelings for the boy. Both were relieved when that little ordeal was over.

"Thanks, Hakkai. What do you guys think of the name, Tsukiko? For the girl. It means 'moonchild,' and she reminds me of something from the night. With that hair of hers, and how calm and quiet she is..." He trailed off, a finger smoothing the soft cheek of the baby girl.

Hakkai sighed as he began moving the food around on the tray. "That's a lovely name, Goku. And it fits beautifully." He smiled, the light glinting off of his monocle.

"Ch. It's a girly name." Gojyo snorted, but catching the scolding look of Hakkai, and the hurt look of Goku, and of course the not-so-subtle gun pointing his way, he hastingly added, "But it's a good name for a girl! For your girl!"

Sanzo just nodded; he didn't need words, Goku understood him just fine.

Goku beamed at all the nice words he was hearing from everyone, and didn't even complain when Hakkai began helping him to eat. He was happy, even though he couldn't come up with a name for his son. His son, it felt so weird saying that. Not to mention the fact that his son was his other half, or so it seemed.

**xx (a/n: Weird place for a break, so sue me.)**

"Goku. Are you feeling any better today?" Hakkai softly asked as he walked into the room, Yaone and Kougaiji trailing behind him. Dokugakuji was training with Gojyo; neither really wanted to be around the normally cheerful boy who was currently not as cheerful most of the time.

Goku didn't answer; instead, he waved at Kougaiji, one hand placed on his stomach, as he smiled. "Hi! Thanks again for letting me stay here, even though now you're going to have two loud babies keeping everyone up at night." His downcast golden eyes turned away.

Kougaiji scoffed. "It doesn't matter. You're my rival, and I want you strong again so I can pay you back for all those times you got me. And besides, Yaone can help you care for the kids, won't you, Yaone? And I'm sure Lirin will want to play with them too." His face didn't show any of the relief he was feeling.

"Yes, Kougaiji-sama. I would be happy to help you, Goku! I love children, and yours are adorable. Lirin-chan and I can help you feed Tsukiko and the boy, and dress them, and wash them, and watch over them so you can rest. It would be perfect." The she-youkai smiled at Goku, her eyes in upwards U's.

Goku smiled back, and handed her Tsukiko, who'd been cuddled up against his side. Even moving his arms hurt his stomach, but he bore through it. He was a strong youkai, after all. Then he looked at the infant boy, who was sleeping on his other side. He'd finally found a name for the boy. "Hakkai, I've got a name for the boy. Wanna hear it?"

Hakkai turned with a small smile. "Of course, Goku. What is it?"

Goku took a deep breath before speaking. "Akuji. Tama Akuji, but I'll be calling him Akuji. I think it fits, don't you?" He gave a sad smile, brushing a tiny strand of hair out of closed eyes.

Hakkai's smile grew sad as well. "I suppose. But, at least we won't be calling him 'boy,' hm? Here, I'll take him. Sanzo can feed him; he seems to be only calm around our holy monk." _That is probably because he's the reincarnation of the Seiten Tasei._ But he didnt add that.

"Yeah. Hakkai, I think I'd like to sleep now. You guys are going to watch the twins, right?"

Hakkai nodded and helped Goku lie down, placing the blanket over him. He tiptoed out of the room with Yaone and the twins; Kougaiji stayed behind. He wanted to talk to Goku.

"What's wrong, Kougaiji? If you're wanting to fight, the best you'll get is talking." Goku attempted a joke, but it didn't really work.

The youkai prince gave Goku a glare, before lugging a chair over to the bed and settling himself in in, his feet resting on the bed. "So, Goku, you've got twins now. I bet you'll be wanting some help training them." It was an indirect offer of, not only a mega-truce, but also a more vocal friendship.

Goku almost couldn't believe it. "Are you serious, Kougaiji? But, what would your people think?" How would they feel with a heretic joining their ranks, so to speak?

Kougaiji just waved a hand, rolling his eyes. "Please. I don't care what they say. And besides, there haven't been any babies around since Lirin-chan was born. It'll be a fun experience." It wasn't known to anyone but Dokugakuji, who found out some time ago, but Kougaiji really had a soft spot for kids. He was truly a...father at heart. Which was part of the reason he invited Goku to stay with them. "Well? Are you going to accept or not?"

Goku closed his eyes to think more about it, wishing he could talk to Go. But, for some reason, he hadn't heard the Seiten Tasei speak to him for weeks now, maybe even months. He'd lost count. But he was alone now, and he had to make the decision himself. And he knew what he wanted. "Yes. I think I'll stay here. Besides, what with...Akuji being what he is, there aren't many who'd accept him. You could help let people realize he's maybe not as crazy as they thought." His voice started off strong, but it kind of trailed off towards the end because it was too much of an effort.

Kougaiji nodded, resting his head in his arms on the top of the chair. He watched as Goku drifted off into sleep, his face turning sweet, almost angelic in dreamland. He let a smile grace his own face as he ran a finger down that surprisingly-soft cheek, before settling himself down to catch some shut-eye himself.

**Ew, that dragged on. Oh, well, I've finally got this chapter finished, and that's what matters! And I would love to thank Rine-chan, the very amazing Goku of the ikkou, for providing me with the names Tama and Tsukiko. Akuji, which took me forever to come up with, means destruction. It's apt for the Seiten Tasei reincarnation, don't you think? Anyway, why don't you guys please give me some reviews? It seems I've gotten barely any for this story!**

**Ayame**


	12. Important Notice!

**This is a notice on all of my stories. All of them, except for my Secrets story, are on hold until further notice. NOTE!! This does not mean that I'm not going to finish them; I like all of my stories too much to not finish them. It merely means that I won't be updating for a while. The reason for this is because I'm trying to finish two requested one-shots; one is about half-way done, and I've started the other. So I ask that all of you, my readers, please be patient until I am able to continue these stories.**

**Arigatou,**

**Ayame**


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